Deprived |
Deprived |
| *Kathleen* |
Jan 15 2005, 10:50 PM
Post
#1
|
|
Guest |
Not my best, but hey...whatever. I still like to get criticism for my stuff.
Deprived ‘Twas just like every other morose, solemn morn Where the soldiers await an arbitrary end As the sounds of mechanic demons are born Onward he marches, in hopes he transcends ‘Twas just like every other time he stood ground Prepared to overcome his worst fears of loss Caught in a shower of fire, watching it come down Praying to God, he holds tight his dear cross ‘Twas just like every other time a soldier died Knowing there was no way out, he left Earth Consumed by the war, he dissolved without pride Taken by this conflict, he simply erased his birth |
|
|
|
![]() |
Jan 15 2005, 10:55 PM
Post
#2
|
|
![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 7,048 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,696 |
Omg, how do you write so beautifully Kathlers. I mean, I can try, but this is like.... author quality. Woah. Great descriptive adjective use. And the the simile use and personification use is amazing O.O. <3
|
|
|
|
Kathleen Deprived Jan 15 2005, 10:50 PM
sadolakced acid wonderful poem. Jan 15 2005, 11:03 PM
Kathleen Hehe aww thanks! Even though...I kind of think... Jan 15 2005, 11:07 PM
yanners whoa kathleen, that's awesome. i suckwhen it ... Jan 15 2005, 11:51 PM
Kathleen Thank you! Jan 16 2005, 02:32 PM
MyVermilionPlague Ahhh!
I LOVE IT, Kathleen!
100% on word c... Jan 16 2005, 02:48 PM
Kathleen Thanks, Brie! Jan 18 2005, 10:39 PM
stephinika well done. i like the word choice, like brie said ... Jan 20 2005, 09:17 PM![]() ![]() |