:- Shattered and Forgotten -: Options

[iloveyourname]

Love has been forgotten ,
My mind has thought to many thoughts,
My eyes have cried to many tears,
I've cut myself to many times ,
yet i've lived through all my fears..

Love has been forgotten,
Nothing left but saddened years,
hiding behind this shattered glass,
shedding all these bleeding tears,
Feeling possecion taking controll,
felling hopeless, feeling lost,
running out of things to hold.

My mind has thought to many thoughts,
everything spinning, nothing stops,
nothings working, nothings right,
Im tired of all these senseless fights..

My eyes have cried to many tears,
broken hearts and trembling fears
i've held on way to long,
descibing emotion in hidden songs..
Longing to stop these bleeding tears
staind cheeks , staind heart
praying that we'll never part..

I've cut myself too many times
holding back these liquid rhymes,
when self afflection fails
the pain courses through me like rusty nails
scarring rapidly through these cuts
of broken memories and lost lust..

I've lived through all my fears
hiding feelings through these years
shattered heart and broken ties
a life filled with hatred, tears, and lies..

Love has been forgotten ,
My mind has thought to many thoughts,
My eyes have cried to many tears,
I've cut myself to many times ,
yet i've lived through all my fears..

-----This was my first shot at a poem. My friend Danielle has been for a long time and just last night she was starting another. We ended up helping eachother so this poem was acutally done 50-50. Wondering what you all think of it.

[ryfitaDF]

it ain't bad. the only thing i would do is make the scheme easier to follow and maybe use some better words. you ryhme "tears" , "fears", and "years" too much, if you ask me. don't be ashemed to use a thesarus.