if i should die before i wake... |
 Dec 14 2004, 04:41 PM
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#1
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 my <3 is in Ohio  Group: Member Posts: 899 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,599  |
IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE
if i should die before i wake there is soemthing i'd like to know do you love me? or were those words you said just a lie? i feel your soft lips touch mine and i want to know this is real that everythings gonna be okay that you will never leave me cuz i don't wanna let you go i thought nobody would ever love me but you proved me wrong you said i was special, and that i'd always be somebody to you so please tell me that everything we have is real that is the only think i'd like to know if i should die before i wake |
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Dec 21 2004, 03:57 AM
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#2
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 Bardic Nation Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,059 |
one word, cliche. It intrigued me at first but it was just the same thing as billions of other poems. Make it more real, make it intense. Paint the picture of the night. Place the feeling that you wanna make thing right before you die.
from 1-10 i give it a 2 |
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Posts in this topic
smthngcrprategrl34 if i should die before i wake... Dec 14 2004, 04:41 PM
angel-roh so this poem is actually saying that you want to k... Dec 15 2004, 01:49 PM smthngcrprategrl34 you have the first part right the "if i die b... Dec 16 2004, 03:57 PM swtxcatastrophe I like your screename and sig! Dec 16 2004, 05:05 PM Sa-Chan I really like the "If I should die before I w... Dec 16 2004, 06:08 PM smthngcrprategrl34 thank you swtxcatastrophe i like your screen name ... Dec 17 2004, 04:08 PM Flip-o-Matic nice poemmm reminds me of my old days... Dec 17 2004, 04:30 PM smthngcrprategrl34 i see...well thank you for the comment! Dec 18 2004, 07:49 PM
smthngcrprategrl34 i see....thank you very much for your input Dec 21 2004, 11:29 AM |
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