pain not letting go |
 Dec 18 2004, 11:48 AM
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#1
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer*  Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134  |
its painful to watch someone die
falling on my knees, unstoppable tears stream down my eyes the pain so strong it wont let me go it stays within me, a burden saying no following me everywhere, haunting in my dreams my greatest fear watching as i run and scream praying to god, wishing on a star to let me be free and get rid of this scar waiting untill my day comes, untill im free it stays right here, right next to me lol hope yall like this..!! |
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Dec 21 2004, 03:49 AM
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#2
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 Bardic Nation Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,059 |
believe it or not slow and painful is easier to accept than a sudden heart attack or a murder. Pain and death are usually synonymous. however loss and the phantom feeling of mourning shouldnt last longer than the consequence. There is a season for it and yet another for joy that comes after it. Happiness and youth are fleeting so savor them with the silver line in the good and the bad times. The rhyme scheme is a bit sketchy and lost.
from 1-10 i give it a 4 |
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Posts in this topic
dispn0ygonekrazy pain not letting go Dec 18 2004, 11:48 AM
angel-roh wow is pain really next to you? heh my pains alway... Dec 18 2004, 12:15 PM smthngcrprategrl34 i like the poem. i feel like i understand it a lot... Dec 18 2004, 07:49 PM electric shock I really like it.
Especially the rhyming part. It ... Dec 18 2004, 11:29 PM dispn0ygonekrazy QUOTE(angel_roh @ Dec 18 2004, 9:15 AM)wow is... Dec 20 2004, 10:58 AM Frankie very touching. especially after my g-pa died two d... Dec 20 2004, 11:04 AM
not_your_average QUOTEfollowing me everywhere, haunting in my dream... Dec 23 2004, 04:36 PM |
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