prescence, within |
 Dec 11 2004, 08:44 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 893 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,217  |
The poem's in my signature, but I'm posting it anyway...what do you think?
I'm the shadow from the corner of your eye The voice that hisses through your head The cold that invades your veins The shiver in the skin you'll never shed Sometimes, you'll perceive a whisper No one else can hear Or mayhap see a silhouette That only you shall fear There'll always be a fragile wind To play around your throat There'll always be a poisoned haze That around your eye shall float. The fact is, I'll be here forever Within your very heart Eating away at your frightened soul And tearing your mind apart. |
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Dec 21 2004, 03:17 AM
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#2
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 Bardic Nation Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,059 |
sounds like a whispered lie to keep one hopeless. Like it has control of you. well remember the past is past and regrets should never last longer than their consequence.
1-10 i give it a 5 It just didn't speak to me. I mean yeah it's well written, but a poem needs to be more than that. good job. |
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Posts in this topic
ApocalypseAelis prescence Dec 11 2004, 08:44 PM
Kathleen Ooh dark and gloomy. Just how I like 'em. It m... Dec 13 2004, 05:27 PM angel-roh ^ like kathleen say. "dark and gloomy" t... Dec 15 2004, 02:12 PM ApocalypseAelis Thank you! But just so you know, I've ne... Dec 16 2004, 06:08 PM smthngcrprategrl34 awesomeness. it's dark and gloomyish...i like ... Dec 18 2004, 07:51 PM TreesTurnMeOn Wow. I really really like that. Very VERY good job... Dec 18 2004, 11:39 PM ApocalypseAelis Thank you! Dec 21 2004, 12:52 AM
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