About my re-markable birthday..., yes it's going to leave a mark.. Options

[xj_liana_tx]

ok before you guys yell "STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF YOU EGOCENTRIC B****"
I am not really going to brag about oh how many terrific gifts i received... because i didn't. so basically, this is another of my complaint.

all right, so yesterday was my birthday, and in the morning, my mom made me clean out everything for about 2 hours, and then they remembered my birthday so my mom like "ok so you want to go to the mall, let's go" and then dad was on the computer and we lost another 2 hours... I mean, i don't want to go to the mall with them anyways since everytime i go it's like a disaster. So blah blah blah, off we went at 3 o'clock. and yes, it was very boring, none of us said a word for the next 2 hours. and whenever i was trying to get a peek of Seventeen, my dad would be like "hands off, that's going to poison your mind." and whenever i was in Claire's or whatever store I like, my dad would go "Stop looking at these stuff." So yeah, you do the math..

After we left, we just basically went grocery shopping and to the stores my parents go every ordinary weekends... ok so it started when we were at Target, first, i spotted a pair of cool sunglasses, well, my parents wouldn't buy it for me because it was expensive (it was 20$), so i was like ok since i don't want to act like a spoiled brat. So then since i was planning on coloring my hair for a long time, i was at the hair section right?? Well so it went down hill from there. My mom told my dad that i want to color my hair, and then in the car (I was still quiet)... THEY started to talk, and the more they talked the more intense the conversation got.. and my dad spent the next 30 minutes of the car ride telling me how shallow i am and how bad my handwriting is, and how i am going to die like a worthless dog if i keep doing it, and how i am chinese and i shouldn't learn from other people's bad influences (like coloring my hair, and shopping), and then they just kept on ranting and i don't know how much but i shed about 30 drops of tears like a loser...

then i got home they were still yelling and screaming, it was almost like they had forgot that yesterday was my birthday, well it wouldn't make a difference. So i kept crying silently like a loser and i .......




well.. cut my self


i mean, i can't really hate my parents, and i am really overwhelmed by all the pressure and just everything, and all i can hate is myself. i am really sensitive to pain and i thought about the consequences, but still, i slashed my arm and i engraved "12/18/04---15" on my arm, it stinged for the whole night.
then i went to bed at about 8:50

I don't know, well just leave some comments. I don't know what to think now. I am all too shocked by what had happened... i don't know, maybe i shouldn't be.

[Just_Dream]

Wow, and I thought my situation was worse. My parents don't even let me go out or anything for my birthday. And most of my friends forget it's my birthday anyway. And 20$ sunglasses? Bleh my dad got mad at first when my sister asked him to buy 60$ sunglasses, which were on sale. Haha yea he bought it for her though. After some arguing.

I truly do hope things will turn out better than it is right now. I agree with uninspiredfae; maybe if you tried to communicate with them more, get them to understand your needs. No, not the needs of getting your hair dyed, to go shopping, etc. Get them to understand that you need love and comfort. If they think you're a baby, then tell them to love you as if you were still a baby. If they say you're too old to be taken care of blah blah blah, then tell them that you need the freedom that you deserve.

Of course my parents sacrificed alot so I could be where I am today, but we all have to make sacrifices. Nothing is perfect, people do flaw, like fae said. And most of all, take into consideration what uninspiredfae said when she said "what's that going to prove?" about your cutting. Psychiatrists can help. Try to talk to anyone about it, any close friends. You don't have any? How can that be? And even so, I'm sure your friend, who is "in a worse situation" would still take the time to try to talk to you. You seem to know that she is in a worse situation, thus she must've talked to you about her problems. Don't you deserve a friend who will listen to your problems?

I do have sympathy for you because I am able to dye my hair and I do get to go shopping and whatnot, but I mean, even so, I still have to deal. I still have to argue with my parents.. But see, I don't show my parents my fear. I've hated my parents for alot of things and there's SO many times that I've cried... but try to work it out. Eventually they'll have to listen. And most of all, don't let their opinions hurt you. No one can fully control you, and most importantly, someone like you shouldn't be treated this way, no one should. You have to talk to them about it. Even though it hurts and they'll yell, yell back. DON'T show them your fear of them; when you cry, it shows them that they CAN hurt your feelings. Even though it might be hard to do, talk to them about it. If they continue to yell, maybe you should contact social services. They've made you so depressed about things that you've even resorted to cutting yourself.