it's just hard to express your feelings... Options

[xj_liana_tx]

ok i don't know how many of you are like me but...
see, since me and my grandparents live one ocean away, whenever we call my grandmother, she always go: "I really miss you, do you miss me?" And well, I really do miss her too but i just can't bring myself to say these words that truely expresses my feeling and i end up saying: "um... ahem..." you know.. these kinds of situation.. I mean, i think that i would really regret it later on since.. afterall my grandparents are senile and you get the point, it's just hard to say what you mean.

[xj_liana_tx]

My grandparents died when I was very young. So did my godparents, I believe. I think I saw him the day before he died. I didn't know what happened. I barely knew him. His life died I believe, a week later. She cried everyday. They were very old though, but still active. I believe he went to the doctor and then he got some shot or something and died from it a few days later... I'm not for sure though. I was only 3-4 years old.

I never got to say that I missed them. I never got to tell my godmother that I missed her wonderful baked butterfly cookies nor did I get to tell her that I missed how she would hug me and always put a smile on my face. She was so cheerful. I asked why she was sad, the day her husband died, she didn't tell me why. She put ona fake smile, and yet, I fell for it. I thought she was just happy with tears of joy. I didn't know what was going on... I still think of her often... I remember my mom and dad taking me over there to visit and they would just talk to her and I would just eat the delicious cookies and food that she cooked. When we couldn't visit anymore since she died, I missed her, a great deal..

I remember asking what happened to her, how come we couldn't visit anymore... My dad said she died as well later on, and that we weren't able to see her anymore. Back then, I wasn't old enough to comprehend what "death" or "died" meant. But as I got older, I learned and remembered. I still miss her and wish I got to tell her. :[ I knew the words "I missed you" and yet, I could never bring myself to say it.


So from now on, Yea I do tell people that I missed them, whether they're friends or family... I miss my half sister that lives in London, the one that lives in new hampshire, even the one that lives in palm springs, even though she is the one that treats me like I'm her daughter (in a bad way) sometimes. Tell them you miss them, no matter what. You never know what will happen.

wow that's so touching....
i was a really spoiled brat.. and i remember at my grandmother (my mom's side)'s funeral, i had flashbacks of how i was being a brat and that i only went to grandmother's house so i can play with my cousins, and never went there because of her.. and i remember how my grandmother used to nurse me when i was a baby... i am really mad at myself for that.
and when my mom's godfather, my other grandfather died, i didn't even get a chance to go to his funeral because it was a school day, and because that was the very first time when my relative passed away, i didn't know how to react, i think i was too scared to go to the funeral... Even though my grandfather didn't talk a lot, but he was one of my favorite relatives... i really wish that i had been less selfish and told them how great they are.