You know you're chinese when..., heh. Options

[gothicvengeance]

I found this on some site and I thought it was pretty funny...I hope nobody's offended by this-I thought it was okay to put up since I'm chinese and I found it entertaining. A lot of it was true, too. Anyway, enjoy!

You know you're chinese when...

You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.

You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.

When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.

You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.

Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.

You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.

You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.

You eat all meals in the kitchen.

You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.

You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

You always leave your shoes at the door.

You have a piano in your living room.

You twirl your pen around your fingers.

Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.

You don't own any real Tupperware -- only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.

You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.

You've eaten a red bean Popsicle.

You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.

You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.

The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.

Ditto for paper napkins.

You never order room service.

You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID).

Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous.

Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.

You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.

When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.

You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.

You don't use measuring cups.

You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.

You beat eggs with chopsticks.

Your parents' house is always cold.

You have a teacup with a cover on it.

You reuse teabags.

Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.

You tip Chinese delivery guys / waiters more.

You're a wok user.

You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.

You have acquired a taste for bittermelon.

You like congee with thousand year old eggs.

You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached -- it means they're fresh.

You never call your parents just to say hi.

You always cook too much.

If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten rice, even if it's midnight.

Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air.

Your parents never go to the movies.

Your parents send money to their relatives in China.

You use a face cloth.

Your parents use a clothes line.

You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.

You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.

You've joined a CD club at least once.

You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.

You never discuss your love life with your parents.

Your parents are never happy with your grades.

You keep most of your money in a savings account.

You've been on the Love Boat or know someone who has.

Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

You love Chinese Martial Arts films.

You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.

Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.

You love to go to $1.75 movies.

You love to go to $1.50 movies even more.

You never order sweet-n-sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a Chinese restaurant.

You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.

Someone in your family drives a Honda... with custom rims.

You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging from your rear-view mirror.

You like to eat chicken feet.

You suck on fish heads and fish fins.

You turn bright red after drinking two tablespoons of beer.

You can get a buzz on Coors O'Douls or Miller Sharps.

You look like you are eighteen.

You only buy used cars.

You have more than five remotes in your house.

You leave the plastic on the lampshade for ten years or more.

You can't bear to throw things away.

Your dad washes his hair four times a day, or never at all.

Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.

You've worn glasses at least since the fifth grade.

Your parents (or some other close relative) own a grocery store or restaurant.

You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.

You add twice the amount of water recommended when making orange juice from concentrate.

You've never seen your parents hug.

Your grandmother lives with you and your family.

You never order desserts at restaurants.

You always have water when dining out.

You say "aiya!" and "wah!" frequently.

You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.

You love to play mah jong.

You have to read all your parents' mail written in English.

You are constantly being set up with uninteresting (and usually ugly) people by your parents.

You hate eating cheese.

You have a big aquarium filled with colorful fish somewhere in your house.

Your mother is strangely obsessed with plants.

White people look at you strangely if you tell them you are Buddhist.

You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.

You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.

Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.

You never made the school football or basketball team.

You have two middle initials instead of one.

You grow your own bean sprouts in the kitchen.

Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas.

You have an lonely unmarried relative who frequently drops by during dinner time.

You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions.

You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives.

You cut your own hair… or had someone in your family do it.

Your grandmother has a lot of gold teeth… especially in front.

You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times.

You know what the term "lemon" or a "banana" means.

You only have to shave every other day (maybe).

You wash and reuse ziplock bags.

You know at least three people named Alan Wong.

You never drank milk after eating cherries.

Your parents collect jade jewelry.

You always drink tea after a meal.

Your dad owns at least one bird.

Your parents grow vegetables in a garden.

You use doilies to decorate your furniture.

Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers.

[me_myself_andi20...]

im bored so im doing this lmao


You know you're chinese when...

You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.....omg thats not true i just tear it like *kkkkkkkkk*

You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off. i dont buy christmas cards

When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out. LOLLOLLOOL we just buy like 10 rolls everytime we finish we're not THAT crazy

You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table. nope its just the table hha

Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. OMG LOL that's just weird nope

You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. we dont have a dishwaser

You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.i dont like hot water and we dont have a thrmos lmao

You eat all meals in the kitchen. i eat in my room or in the living room haha

You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. yep XP

You use grocery bags to hold garbage. yup to that too haha

You always leave your shoes at the door. outside =P

You have a piano in your living room. no i dont i want one though

You twirl your pen around your fingers. i cant but i try haha

Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. no my mom awlays doesnt force us

You don't own any real Tupperware -- only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars. nope we throw them away we have real tupperwear

You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses. ROFLMAOMFG thats just disgusting yuck

You've eaten a red bean Popsicle. of course and it tasted goooood

You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes. nope

You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel. hehheh how do you know?

The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's. not really we just buy it in a supermarket

Ditto for paper napkins. we use tissue haha

You never order room service. i ALWAYS order room service

You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID). not 15 mins a few hours yes not 15 mins and its chips not whatever crap those things are

Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous. no one brings them lmao

Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself. nope he always calls the repairman

You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law. lmao i wanna makor in art and my dads all for it

When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool. ... they surround me yes lmao =P

You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.ack nope im moving to a house away from them mwahahaha

You don't use measuring cups. yes i do!! ok im lieng i dont have measuring cups =P

You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax. nope but if its more then 50% i do

You beat eggs with chopsticks. LMAO no i use an egg beater

Your parents' house is always cold. not really

You have a teacup with a cover on it. who has a teacup with a cover?

You reuse teabags. nope i only use them once

Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club. she drives her mercedes everywhere o.O

You tip Chinese delivery guys / waiters more. nope its all the same

You're a wok user. yes we are =P

You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions. ack no i like english

You have acquired a taste for bittermelon. ewwwwww yuck i hate it

You like congee with thousand year old eggs. yummmmmmmm =P

You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached -- it means they're fresh. i hate shrimp

You never call your parents just to say hi. haha nope =P

You always cook too much. not really i bake too much haha

If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten rice, even if it's midnight. LMAO i dont think they will they aren't that over protective

Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air. not boil herbs but eat less fried foods yes

Your parents never go to the movies. are you kidding? my parents always go to the movies sometimes even without me

Your parents send money to their relatives in China. we dont have relatives in china lmao

You use a face cloth. no i dont i just use a towel lmao

Your parents use a clothes line. nope we use a clothes rack

You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table. not really my moms always finish the [insert meat here] and dont eat the rice lmao

You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi. no i dont thats crazy

You've joined a CD club at least once. whats a CD club?

You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics. i wish i did

You never discuss your love life with your parents. no i never haha

Your parents are never happy with your grades. they're ok with b's

You keep most of your money in a savings account. not really i like spending haha

You've been on the Love Boat or know someone who has. no i havent

Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin. nope haha we have like 3 open tubes in one bathroom lmao

You love Chinese Martial Arts films. the funny ones

You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing. LMAO nope we just throw it away

Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you. ack not really

You love to go to $1.75 movies. nope

You love to go to $1.50 movies even more. double nope

You never order sweet-n-sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a Chinese restaurant. are you kidding? i always order that

You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch. i dont mind spending $30 for lunch as long as i like it

Someone in your family drives a Honda... with custom rims. lmao the honda is only used on sundays

You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging from your rear-view mirror. nope

You like to eat chicken feet. ewww yuckyyyyyyy

You suck on fish heads and fish fins. EVEN YUCKY-er

You turn bright red after drinking two tablespoons of beer. ack no i get drunk with one bottle of red wine yes

You can get a buzz on Coors O'Douls or Miller Sharps. ehh? i dont get it

You look like you are eighteen. 16 =P and only 14 haha

You only buy used cars. nope my mom and dad likes new cars

You have more than five remotes in your house. we have 4 tvs 4 dvds so yes of course =P

You leave the plastic on the lampshade for ten years or more.LMAO nope thats weird

You can't bear to throw things away. yes i can

Your dad washes his hair four times a day, or never at all. ahahahahaha no once a day

Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500. ack =P

You've worn glasses at least since the fifth grade. yes i have T_T then in 6th grade i got contacts yay!!

Your parents (or some other close relative) own a grocery store or restaurant. ack does a meat import thing count?

You drive around looking for the cheapest gas. LMAOO no we dont we use what we usually use haha

You add twice the amount of water recommended when making orange juice from concentrate. lmao no i dont that wouldnt make it taste nice

You've never seen your parents hug. ive seen them make out and yes i have seen them hug

Your grandmother lives with you and your family. shes in america and my dad bought both my grandmas their own houses haha

You never order desserts at restaurants. we love dessert

You always have water when dining out.lmao we drink whatever we want

You say "aiya!" and "wah!" frequently. yesyesyesyes XPPPP

You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.im too young haha

You love to play mah jong. i dont know how to play mah jong

You have to read all your parents' mail written in English. they can read english themselves

You are constantly being set up with uninteresting (and usually ugly) people by your parents. they dont set me up

You hate eating cheese. I LOVE CHEESE

You have a big aquarium filled with colorful fish somewhere in your house. lmao no we dont but my sis has a fighting fish lmao

Your mother is strangely obsessed with plants. LMAOLMAOLMAO my dad loves flowers =P

White people look at you strangely if you tell them you are Buddhist. lmao im christian

You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food. not really we run around the house screaming and chasing each other

You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child. lol we have different tastes and my dad constantly buys us food

Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings. LMAO our gatherings are noisy thats why haha

You never made the school football or basketball team. i've been in the basketball team

You have two middle initials instead of one. yeshyeshyesh iao chuan ack so dorky haha

You grow your own bean sprouts in the kitchen. LOL no we dont hahahaha thats funny

Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas. LOL we buy ready made water chestnuts and snow peas

You have an lonely unmarried relative who frequently drops by during dinner time. lol nope

You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions. YESSSS I LOVE IT actually i love money haha

You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives. wtf?! no i dont we buy new knives ahahahaha

You cut your own hair… or had someone in your family do it. ewwww noo definitely not there is a thing called a salon

Your grandmother has a lot of gold teeth… especially in front. haha no she has dentures =P

You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times. yes we do haha not ginger though

You know what the term "lemon" or a "banana" means. ehh? what do they mean?

You only have to shave every other day (maybe). not that age yet ahahha

You wash and reuse ziplock bags. we throw them away lmao

You know at least three people named Alan Wong. LMAO no i dont ahahahaha

You never drank milk after eating cherries. why not? i eat cherries with condensed milk =P

Your parents collect jade jewelry. lmaooo no my mom buys diamonds and white gold not jade lmao

You always drink tea after a meal. ahahahaha no i drink coke

Your dad owns at least one bird. a bird? who owns birds?

Your parents grow vegetables in a garden. lmao nope they dont

You use doilies to decorate your furniture. haha nope

Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers. nope we eat with whatever we want


this thing isnt very accurate for me =P

i was bored ahahaha