strands of existance, poems.... Options

[RiddleMeWonders]

Josh

Why can't I look you in the eye?
What do I try to hide?
Is there something no one knows about me?
What is it I don't want you to see?
Too many questions for my mind to comprehend
never sleeping wanting questioning to end,
I stare in my mirror rimmed with gold,
searching for an answer on a face that looks so cold.

These feelings won't leave me be.
The lies keeping stirring leading back to me.
I'm trying but I still feel incomplete
Feel like I'm dieing and you refuse to hold me.

I'll tell you everything
I'll show you what I know
But it won't be enough.
Til it's over the answer is lost to you.
Til I find it there can be nothing left to prove
I won't hide, but it's what I want to do
I'll stick it out because I know I love you..

[RiddleMeWonders]

Get a Memory

It's the things you never say
And it's the questions that you ask
But please don't tell me that I'm strange
Because I can't forget the past
I wanted a life, and this is my own
But I'll tear it apart before I make it my home.
Why can't I remember the way I used to dream
Maybe if I could, I could change the way things have to be.

I want my childhood.
I want my memories.
I want my faith, love.
I want my melodies.

I never sleep without the faces of the people I've seen.
I never dream without the hunger to be seen.
And every time I relax enough to see your love
I push it away, and I look away.
What if I could be content?
Pretend my world isn't being bent.
To the wishes of mothers
and expectations of the others.

I want my childhood.
I want my memories.
I want my faith, love.
I want my melodies

I want my childhood. ( I gave it away)
I want my memories. (They took them from me)
I want my faith, love. (It just disappeared)
I want my melodies (There are shadows of them here)

So I gave it away, and they took it from me, It just disappeared, but the shadows are still here.
It's not easy being me.
To deal with not being some one you wanted to see.
I'm tired of the reputation.
I'm tire of the frustration.
I want my childhood.
I want my memories.
I want my faith, love.
I want my melodies
There are shadows of me here.

This was today. This after noon. *Shrugs*
____________
Forget them, Buddy

Hey, I want you to smile
You know I haven't seen you do it in awhile.
You used to laugh all night.
But now, you don't look alright.
I know it's hard to just be yourself
But you need to know, for me there's no one else
It's a crazy time and you're caught between
All the world and her numbers
Yeah, it's a crazy scene.
If you feel you can't ask yourself "Why not?"
Don't settle for the acceptance bullshit.
I know you can do it.
__________

La-la-la......la-la..la.

Here I am.
Again, I'm talking to you instead of them.
There are few words to descrive just what I'm feeling inside.
What I'm about to say, might cost us the friendship between you and I.
I'll never be able to say you meant to hurt me.
I wish I could see through you and tell myself you don't deserve me.
I'm happy for you, but I can't say I'm over you.
I still want you. To the point where I hurt when I'm not hugging you.
You raise me up and let me down, and for a moment I can forget about this town.
Time means nothing, I've got a memory.
I wonder if you love me back even though I clearly lack what you've been looking for.
I can't shake this craving.