How to:, make school more interesting Options

[diezelbabygrl_xo...]

STOP. This is a very long list to annoy people. If you don't like long lists, click your back button. And don't complain in this post. I already know it's a long list.


Annoy your professors:

Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you embarrassed me AGAIN...."

Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using it. If your professor objects, explain that you "can't stand sitting in this pigsty any longer." Keep vacuuming, grumbling angrily.

Brush your teeth during class. While doing so, raise your hand as if you have a question, and mumble your question incoherently while brushing, spewing toothpaste all over the place. If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about proper oral hygiene.

Carve a bust of your professor out of cheese. Tie a ribbon around it, and present it to him/her at the beginning of class. Demand extra credit.

Come to class every day wearing scary Halloween masks. Try to get your professor to guess who you are. Shoot him/her with a water pistol, scream, and run around the room knocking things over. Say, "Pretty scary, huh?"

Come to class with a jar full of angry hornets. Five minutes into class, release the hornets, scream, and run away.

Dispute everything your professor says, no matter how simple. Try to get him/her to "prove" everything to you. Rant and rave about what a big liar your professor is. Yell at students who are taking notes, saying, "Stop writing down all these lies!"

Draw hearts and flowers on the backs of your papers and tests. Next to them, write things like, "You're the best, even though you suck" and "You're the worst professor in the world, but I still love you."

Every time your professor stutters, do a shot. If he/she objects, explain that drinking games make the class more interesting.

Get a monkey, and bring it to class with you. Tell your professor that you've hired the monkey to take notes for you. Sit back and relax during class, letting the monkey scribble on a piece of paper. When it comes time to write a paper or take a test, write down things like, "I wish I had a banana" and "I miss my tire swing." Assuming you get a bad grade, angrily fire the monkey in front of your professor.

Get the whole class to show up a few minutes early, and throw a surprise party for your professor. Insist that you can't start class until he/she has a piece of cake. Keep asking people when the strippers are going to arrive.

Hide somewhere inside the classroom. Wait for your professor to take attendance. Don't come out when he/she calls your name. Halfway through class, jump out and yell, "Just kidding! I'm here! Fooled you again!" Sit down and be quiet for the rest of class.

If you have an early morning class, get there before anyone else, and bring a pillow, some blankets, an air mattress, and an alarm clock. Wear your pajamas. Lie down on the air mattress with the pillow and the blankets and act like you're asleep. Have the alarm set for about two minutes into class. When it goes off, preferably very loudly, hit the "snooze" button and go back to sleep. Keep doing so for the duration of the class.

Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, "Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All" or "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.

Keep "accidentally" setting fires at your desk. Burn notebooks, papers, or whatever you have handy. Whenever you start a fire, no matter how small it is, start yelling, "Fire! Fire!" and run out of the room in a panic. Don't return for the rest of class.

Show up to class about ten minutes late. Ride into the room on a bicycle, yell, "Look out!" and crash into the blackboard. Get up, take a seat, and act like nothing happened. Do this every day.

Sit way at the back of the room, up against the wall, to get as far away from your professor as possible. While he/she is lecturing, shout out things like, "What!?" and "Speak up! You're mumbling!" If your professor advises you to sit closer to the front, tell him/her you can't because you're scouting the room for "assassins."

Start asking questions in a fake foreign language. Act like your professor is stupid for not being able to understand you. Get other people in the class to start speaking the fake language too, and have frequent discussions during class. Act like you're really interested in what you're discussing. If your professor tries to interrupt or stop you, act annoyed and motion for him/her to quiet down.

Tell your professor that you'd like to interview him/her for a writing class. Get him/her to tell you his/her life story. Act interested, and write down everything he/she says. Fabricate a few romantic interludes and turn your efforts into a trashy romance novel. Make copies for the entire class, and your professor. Demand extra credit.

Wait for your professor to mention a date, and then yell out, "Bingo!" Apologize, and explain that you got confused.

When you have to write a paper, get it done early and mail it to your professor's house. From then on, don't hand anything in, and blame it on the sluggishness of the U.S. Postal Service.

When your professor gives you a syllabus, take it home, correct it, give it a grade, and return it to the professor. Demand extra credit.

Wrap yourself in bandages and come to class in a wheelchair. Throughout class, cry a lot and moan things like, "Why me?" and "Please kill me!" Get up during class, like your going to miraculously start walking. Instead, fall down, cry out in pain, and wait for someone to help you back up. When class is over say, "I feel better now," leap up, and run home.

Write down everything that your professor says, word for word. Think up a melody, and turn the words into a song. Bring a guitar to class and perform the song for the class. Explain to your professor that he/she is "very inspiring."

Write your professor a note that says, "I'm going to be about 15 minutes late. Go ahead and start without me." Wait outside the building until the time when class is supposed to begin. Tie the note to a rock, and throw it through the window.


LOL.


Annoy people in the computer lab:

Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your pocket and say, "Oops, I forgot."

Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.

Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects.

Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.

Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.

Every time you press Return and there is processing time required,
pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.

If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.

Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

Light candles in a circle around your terminal before starting.

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "NO!!! They've found me!" and bolt.

Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word.

Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

Play "Pong" for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.

Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".

Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.

See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hangup before they geta chance to figure out you're a total stranger.

Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.

Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to grinding.

Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

Two words: Tesla Coil.

Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.

When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.

When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

Yell "DISK FIGHT!!!"

[EvraeMorbid]

Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
.......*blinks*....I've done that before..people thought I was insane! These are hillarious!