if you're a cutter.., click if you dare Options

[*jeanna*]

i feel like im some heroin addict when it comes to cutting. it is like someone trying to stop smoking. i gave my dad all my razors and told him and stuff.. and now i want them back like crazy [in secret], i found an exact-o knife.. and..
well i dont want the little girlies squeeling over it. so if you can relate to me check out my xanga
www.xanga.com/green_bracelet

[*jeanna*]

you guys wouldn't want to know why i started cutting. i'll make it short so people dont get bored or think im proud of it. my mom mentally and physically abused me, i have no friends in my junior year of highschool or since i started h.s, my parents got a divorce [which was a good thing], living with two of my sister who were complete and utter bitches and even told me "WE ARENT EQUAL SO STOP TALKING TO ME." and i said, "wow, you must have never read or heard of the consititution..." you see what i mean. and now my 22 year old sister emily has taken all the stuff i told her from my deepest darkest secrets and told my mom and now my mom calls my dad saying all the stuff i told my sister. i have 4 sisters and i never talk to them or would ever again. i dont think it helped having a person i would talk to 24/7 who was a cutter before me. i'm not proud of cutting.. and therefore i have stopped after 6 months. i have no grandparents left.. no one to turn to but my best online friend who lives in maryland . i never talk to people and i have been on 5 anti-depressants since may. prozac and klonopin arent helping so tonight maybe i can get that changed [dr. appointment]. being ugly and being sexually harassed isnt a fun way to live. i just wanted to clear up the whole part of me being "proud" of cutting. it's in my past now, and i hope people can understand that if your life has been going down the hell hole and there is nothing there to pull you out, you reach for anything to tell you are human like everyone else. it wasnt a fun thing and yet again i may say, i am not proud of being a cutter nor should anyone be.
just close the topic, i have had to tell my "life story" about a million times to all the therapists and physcologists and i dont think it would help my aliby by repeating it again.