sniff*, the end Options

[xjjajeengx]

i just broke up with my boyfrend over the phone...
i noe this sounds so stupid but i cant post it on relationships because my ex boyfrend goes on createblog (its sounds so sad saying ex... *sniff)
and im just so tired of being so messed up with him yet now that we breka up im so sad... even tho im the one that said we needed to take a break...

whats more pathetic is that i should've done it long ago because i knew we were going to end up breaking up... but i let it carry on too far...
and whats more gay is that i hurt him more instead of making him feel better becuase i made him feel last priority (he even felt that i loved photoshop and createblog morea thanhim... )

i dont noe what to feel...
i feel mad at him, pathetic towards myself, and i think i miss him yet i feel so free... whats wrong with me...? someone help...?

[*Podomaht*]

ok. im just so dam pissed off so please dont mind my excessive cussing, my foul language, my anonymous member bashing, whatever you wanna call this sh!yt...

UGH DAMN BASTARD JUST POSTED UP ON CREATEBLOG THAT LIKE BLEHBLEHBLEH EW'RE FALLING APART IM SCARED TO LOOZE HER BLEHBLEHBLEH. GAWD ISNT A GUY SUPPOSE TO GIVE A DAMN GURL SOME FUC*ING TIME SO SHE CAN HEAL?! GAWD IF WE GO ON A FU*KING BREAK IT MEANS I CANT HANDLE HIM ANYMORE AND I NEED SOME TIME TO f**king BE ALONE BUT NOOOOOO HE JUST HAS TO POST SOME SHITTY ANNOYING CRAP THAT IM GOING TO FIND ANOTHER GUY OR SOMETHING OMG I CAN BURST AND DIE AND DIG MY OWN GRAVE! GAWR YES, IM ANNOYED, HALF IRRITATED, HALF PITYING MY OWN SELF FOR GOING THRU THIS SH!T, HALF ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HELP HIM THRU HIS MESSED UP TIMES, BUT GOD HOW IS A GURL SUPPOSE TO HELP SOMEONE IF I CANT EVEN SOLVE MY OWN SH!T OUT FIRST!! AND HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO FU*KKING HEAL IF I CANT EVEN HAVE SOME DAMN TIME TO MYSELF. NO TIME TO FU*KING HOLD MYSELF TOGETHER OR TIME TO GET A FU*KING GRIP ON REALITY.

whew* im so moody right now. i noe im such a b!tch for posting this, but gawd i cant get myself together to tell him that:
NO IM NOT ON THIS BREAK BECUASE IM NOT FORGIVING HIM OR ANYTHING! THERES NOTHING TO FORGIVE DAMNIT! ITS CAUSE I NEED A BREAK! KEYWORD I! gawr...

and also, WHAT KIND OF GUY SAYS "WE'RE GUNNA GET BACK TOGETHER ON THE 9TH" AND EXPECTS ME TO HEAL UP WHILE HE'S STILL NAGGING AT ME AND f**king ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND f**kin I SAID LETS BE FRENDS NOT LOVERS WHO CANT f**king GET TOGETHER OR ANYTHING! GOD I DONT NEED A BF RIGHT NOW WHAT I NEED IS WHAT A GURL CALLS SPACE! TIME ALONE!

im just ... ugh sorry mods and admins for being so b!ytchy and showing this nasty side of me. i noe its wrong, but i cant vent out my anger at him or he's gunna half apologize half nag at me a bit yell at me more, i cant vent out on the topic he made or it'll be considered members bashing right there directly, so i decided to vent out my anger backstage where it wont get out to the public (or at least i hope so) and where i can just be wacko like i am i apologize deeply for bringing my troubled/bipolar personailty/trait on this topic, but im really like really nasty and evil right now. and i acnt stop. so might as well vent it out... right?

i hpe you get better... ;__;