fair lights on a southern terrace |
 Oct 13 2004, 04:24 PM
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 creepy heather  Group: Official Member Posts: 4,208 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,580  |
Fair lights, on a southern terrace
Hide obscurity, rusted into the dance floor, As their luminosity spreads for a distance- Potent remarks that scale “x” embedded into the earth Ink spilt from these outlets Paved onto the stage- A black-showy blood with cancer- Vines climbing up your body Until it reaches your lips Baby, your veins are under my fingers On these grounds, when we dance Under the fair light spreading Across the southern terrace |
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Oct 15 2004, 05:01 AM
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#2
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 Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Haha, thanks and sorry for making you take that one apart for me.
I was thinking light, but I thought "How would that explain the 'ink' line?' I like to do that with my writing as well, but sometimes I expect the person to know what I'm trying to describe, just because I'm the one who wrote it. Anyway, next time, don't sway a drunk so much when you're dancing with him. 
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Posts in this topic
Heathasm fair lights on a southern terrace Oct 13 2004, 04:24 PM
MasteRxKiD I love that little change of tone in the last stan... Oct 13 2004, 06:07 PM dreamerOi this poem is so woww i cant even think of the righ... Oct 13 2004, 06:11 PM Heathasm ^^^^^
thanks guys
i like to change up the stanzas ... Oct 13 2004, 06:36 PM MasteRxKiD Haha, and you do it quite effectively. Oct 13 2004, 08:00 PM dispn0ygonekrazy o_O i like it but i dont understand the meaning..b... Oct 13 2004, 08:57 PM Heathasm well i live in tx and i was reminiscing the time a... Oct 13 2004, 09:46 PM MasteRxKiD It's the unique flaws that make romances so pe... Oct 13 2004, 09:54 PM Heathasm QUOTE(MasteRxKiD @ Oct 13 2004, 9:54 PM)It... Oct 14 2004, 11:58 PM MasteRxKiD Aww, that's sweet.
If it's not too much, c... Oct 15 2004, 04:05 AM Heathasm the stage had little outlets and there was this bl... Oct 15 2004, 04:42 AM
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