Winter Options

[TheSilenceInDict...]

A quick write. Little effort...Meh.

Winter

Fingertips of morning
Softly brush my cheek.
Wisps of December air slowly escape my lips
Leaking secrets untold
To ears deafened by false prospect
Eyes forced shut
From frigid truth.
Denial -
My frozen heart,
My beating cause.
The careful burden
Seeping inside
To freeze my already cold soul

[Heathasm]

this reminded me of a movie i saw where this lady was pregnat and out in the snow, lol.
even thought thats more than likely not what it was about its still a good thing, because it was a beautiful poem...

the only thing i think you should really change is

Fingertips of morning
Softly brush my cheek.
Wisp of December air slowly escapes my lips
Leaking secrets untold
To ears deafened by flase prospect

change "wisp" to "wisps" and "escapes" to "escape"
-so that wisp can fit in with the plurals fingtertips and ears
-escapes would need to be change because thats like starting two lines off with the same word, almost

And I greatly appreciate that. I'd rather be harshly judged than mindlessly praised...Whatever improves my writing or opens up for good discussion is awesome.

I agree!
any one who thinks otherwise than that i wont comment on their work
...well maybe if its really good