Odd questiOns that shOuld make ya think, ...mrehe Options

[x rOck mai sOcks...]

Why do people say "no offense" when they're about to offend someone?
Why do they have the back pain medicine on the bottom shelf at the pharmacy?
They have a show called "Unsolved Mysteries." What other kind of mysteries are there?
Do they make coffins wider for dead fat people or is it a 1 size fits all kind of thing?
Does Jell-o EVER go bad? There usually isn’t an expiration date on it?
When the person who writes the obituaries dies, who writes their obituary?
Why do old men have hair in their ears?
Why are buttons on guys' shirts on a different side than girls' shirts?
If bunnies don't lay eggs why is it on Easter that we hide eggs from the Easter Bunny?
Why are things typed up but written down?
How come u can kill a deer and put it on your wall but its a illegal to keep them as a pet?
Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?
If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?
If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
What does OK actually mean?
what does the K in K-mart actually stand for?
Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down?
Why do donuts have holes?
Why do the numbers on a phone go one way and the numbers on the calculator go the other?
Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning?
Is light still faster than sound when it's going through your TV, and if so, when you get a live broadcast from China or something shouldn't all the sounds come after the actions?
Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different?
If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?
If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?
Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?
Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
Why is the abbreviation for pound lb. when l or b isn't in the word pound?
Why do the call the angel of death an angel if all it does is bring pain and suffering?
Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up?
If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm?
If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government?
If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?
Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?
Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place?
Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running foward?
If you tell someone they are being judgmental arnt you being judgmental yourself?
Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?
How come no matter what color the liquid is the froth is always white?
Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
Why do they call them guidance counselors when all counselors do is offer guidance?
Why do they call it "head over heels in love" If our head is always over our heels?
Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?
Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?
How do they get those boats in those glass bottles?
Why would superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly?
Why is it called a TV set when theres only one?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
How did the headless horseman know where he was going?
Why do they call it an escalator if it takes you down?
Why is it called football when you hardly use your feet?
How come some Little Debbie snack cakes come in a twin pack and others are wrapped individually?
Do cows drink milk?
Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
Since we see little birdies when we just get knocked out, what do little birdies see when they just get knocked out??
What is a male ladybug called?
Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end up in a sticky situation?
How fast do hotcakes sell?
If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
Does the President have to pay taxes?
Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on christmas lights?
If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?
If Jimmy crackes corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Isn't it kinda ominous to put your tax returns in the mail box and put up the little red flag?
What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
What do you call a female daddy long legs?
If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
If a transport truck carrying a load of cars gets into a car accident, does it increase the number of the cars in the pile-up?
In France do people just ask for toast and get French toast? or do they have to ask for American toast?
Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ?
Why are SOFTballs hard?
Do vampires get AIDS?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps?
Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring?
If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?
If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
Does a postman deliver his own mail?
Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why dosent a chicken egg taste like chicken?
Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?
Does peanut butter really have butter in it?
Do mimes watch silent movies?
Is the fear of flying groundless?
Why do people say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not living?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up "there" anyway?
If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?
Why are boxing rings square?
Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?
Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do birds have white poop?
Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot?
Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
If you accidently ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?
Do sore thumbs really stick out?
Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house?
Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?
What's the opposite of opposite?
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
Why are toe nail clippers bigger than finger nail clippers when your toe nails are smaller than your finger nails?
Is the opposite of "out of whack" "in whack"?
If you try to fail and suceed, what did you just do?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Why is the blackboard green?
Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple?
Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?
What do you call male ballerinas?
How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?
If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first?
Why are pennies bigger than dimes?
Did they have antiques in the olden days?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid?
Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?
What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
Can blind people see their dreams?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist?
why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
If when people freak out they are said to be "having a cow", when cows freak out are they said to be "having a person?"
Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the drivway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating rings?
What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
What would happen if an Irresistable Force met an Immovable Object?
What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
how can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?
Why are both male and female ladybugs called ladybugs instead of ladybugs and manbugs?
How can you hear yourself think?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot?
How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?
If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
if you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?
Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If the speed of movement is slower than the speed of light - how fast is a moving light?
why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why did they name that underwear company fruit of the loom?
Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?
Why do The Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Mary Had a Little Lamb all have the same tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
How does santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney?
If you get cheated by the better business bereau, who do you complain to?
If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?
why are turds pinched off at the end?
I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?
What would you use to dilute water?
What should one call a male ladybird?
How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?
If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you?
Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If the speed of movement is slower than the speed of light - how fast is a moving light?
why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why did they name that underwear company fruit of the loom?
Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?
Why do The Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Mary Had a Little Lamb all have the same tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
How does santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney?
If you get cheated by the better business bereau, who do you complain to?
If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?
why are turds pinched off at the end?
I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?
What would you use to dilute water?
What should one call a male ladybird?
How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?
If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you?
Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday?
Do birds pee?
Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
Why is it at a Chinese restaurant an egg roll is called that when there is no egg in it?
Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk?
What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?
If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?
Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?
If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator?
If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a
nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?
If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldnt you see through everything and actually see nothing?
If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind?
Why does "closing up" a shop and "closing down" a shop mean the same thing?
Why do they call them "Animal Crackers" when there not even crackers...they're cookies?
Can a one-eyed person have 20/20 vision?
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Have ex-cowboys become deranged??
Have ex-drycleaners become depressed?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A & Canada?
Why do old men have hair in their ears?
Why are things typed up but written down?
In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?
Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different?
Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?

[inthemudhole]

Why do people say "no offense" when they're about to offend someone? Because they're dumb.

Why do they have the back pain medicine on the bottom shelf at the pharmacy? HAHA, that's great, but true.. who knows..

They have a show called "Unsolved Mysteries." What other kind of mysteries are there? Old mysteries... Iono.

Do they make coffins wider for dead fat people or is it a 1 size fits all kind of thing? I think you lose some body weight once you die..

Does Jell-o EVER go bad? There usually isn’t an expiration date on it? Hrmm. I don't think it would go bad for a while..

When the person who writes the obituaries dies, who writes their obituary? The obituary writer after them.

Why do old men have hair in their ears? everyone has ear hair, theirs just shows up more

Why are buttons on guys' shirts on a different side than girls' shirts? Uhm. So you can tell them apart..? I don't know

If bunnies don't lay eggs why is it on Easter that we hide eggs from the Easter Bunny? Wow. Toughie.

Why are things typed up but written down? Things appear on the screen & it's up.. when you're writing, you're most likely writing so it's below you..

How come u can kill a deer and put it on your wall but its a illegal to keep them as a pet? because it's already dead, and the government doesn't give a **** about animals.

Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing? haha, who knows

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end? Because it looks spiffier and more professional

If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound? Nope.

If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? space..

What does OK actually mean? alright. oh-kay. whatever.

what does the K in K-mart actually stand for? maybe the creator's last name

Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down? they probably feel black

Why do donuts have holes? i read this somewhere. it's easier to make them with holes or something like that

Why do the numbers on a phone go one way and the numbers on the calculator go the other? so you can tell them apart..? Iono

Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning? heh.

Is light still faster than sound when it's going through your TV, and if so, when you get a live broadcast from China or something shouldn't all the sounds come after the actions? yeah, i guess..

Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different? no

If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days? no. the day of the midnight

If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard? yeah, it's hard, alright

If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles? it's hard to go uphill, and to go downhill mean it starts to suck.

Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill? iono.

Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"? i say hi hi sometimes

Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille? anyone can be dyslexic. maybe the weren't born blind.

How do you handcuff a one-armed man? hahah. just drag him or something

Why is the abbreviation for pound lb. when l or b isn't in the word pound? who knows

Why do the call the angel of death an angel if all it does is bring pain and suffering? it will most likely bring you to heaven. and angels live there

Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up? it must have some chemical in it to have it not dry up

If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm? why would it be? it could be cold. or hot.

If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government? i guess

If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you? hrmm. both in a way, i guess

Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests? because.

Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place? because they just have to be different

Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running foward? because

If you tell someone they are being judgmental arnt you being judgmental yourself? yeah, you kind of are

Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body? because when you sit, it's your bottom, pretty much

How come no matter what color the liquid is the froth is always white? because that's the way it works. :P

Why do British people never sound British when they sing? who knows. i've always wondered that myself

Why do they call them guidance counselors when all counselors do is offer guidance? because. they're special. some camp counselors just sit there and teach art class or whatever..

Why do they call it "head over heels in love" If our head is always over our heels? it's just a phrase. garsh.

Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane? hahahaha, sure

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? HAHAHAHAHA, they want you to stutter

If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell? iono. they're not special enough to have a name.

How do they get those boats in those glass bottles? they create the glass bottle around the boat

Why would superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly? because it's cooler :P

Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? because. things are just called sets sometimes

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? MINUSSSSSS 10 or 20 or whatever

How did the headless horseman know where he was going? he was special.. it was a tale, too who cares

Why do they call it an escalator if it takes you down? who knows, it takes you UP too

Why is it called football when you hardly use your feet? you run a lot

How come some Little Debbie snack cakes come in a twin pack and others are wrapped individually? some are bigger than others and they don't want to be generous and give you two of the huge one

Do cows drink milk? sure

Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name? yeah. their middle name could be their nickname if they chose

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? yes. why not.

Since we see little birdies when we just get knocked out, what do little birdies see when they just get knocked out?? stars

What is a male ladybug called? ladybug

Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks? HAHA who knows

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on? because that's just the phrase.

If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end up in a sticky situation? sure

How fast do hotcakes sell? uh, fast..

If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit? yes, i would call it that.

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? things are always going to differ like that

Does the President have to pay taxes? maybe

Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on christmas lights? iono, they want to get their point across

If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair? because he was cool like that

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them? they send out another one to help either one

Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts? made out of them, maybe

If Jimmy crackes corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? because he's lucky and no one cared for a while

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA iono

Isn't it kinda ominous to put your tax returns in the mail box and put up the little red flag? i suppose

What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E. there used to be an E grade.. they just.. got rid of it and wanted to fail kids faster

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? lights produce more heat than a freezer needs

Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ? haha, yeah, that's funny but i don't worry

Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary? sure, why not

What do you call a female daddy long legs? daddy long legs

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages? HAHA they don't want them to get any staler..

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? i can.. but i think it's some sort of a reflex

If a transport truck carrying a load of cars gets into a car accident, does it increase the number of the cars in the pile-up? sure!

In France do people just ask for toast and get French toast? or do they have to ask for American toast? maybe french toast there too

Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop? because you drive through the section

Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year? because it has extra stuff added in it. and sometimes they have to put a year and it's not correct, it could last longer. but it's a requirement to have some sort of a year/date on every beverage

If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ? sure

Why are SOFTballs hard? because. they're softer than baseballs, and they want people to know that

Do vampires get AIDS? sure.. they wouldn't die though

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? some people like them that dark.

Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps? sure

Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring? oh, yum.. i mean, iono

If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery? nope. they leave those pens for you to take

Is French kissing in France just called kissing? no, probably not

Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air? air isn't always thick.. iono

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? because. snow falls from the sky and rain just.. drips..

Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand? because it is.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? because people are rushing to get to places

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"? i don't know. google it.

What do people in China call their good plates? their good plates..

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest? sure

If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds? lol, maybe

Does a postman deliver his own mail? why not

Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself? just the movie and maybe the credits

If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? because he's weird like that

Why dosent a chicken egg taste like chicken? because

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car? because

Does peanut butter really have butter in it? i think so

Do mimes watch silent movies? yeah

Is the fear of flying groundless? yup

Why do people say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not living? who knows

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? kinky.. it's weird to point at your crotch.

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up "there" anyway? IONO

If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing? because they're not there.

Why are boxing rings square? who knows. squares are better XD

Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it? because. it's lucky like that

Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it? because!

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning? because..

What was the best thing before sliced bread? bread

Why do birds have white poop? because they eat different things than us

Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot? sure

Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down? because it is. you don't change it just because of its direction

Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet. i guess

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight? because. it just works that way

If you accidently ate your own tongue, what would it taste like? you can't really do that, and if you did, your other tastebuds would pick up on the flavor.. because you can eat your WHOLE tongue very easily..

Do sore thumbs really stick out? sure.. they're swollen

Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house? because

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up? because. you're getting too technical. :P

What's the opposite of opposite? similar

If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice? so you can get BETTER

Why are toe nail clippers bigger than finger nail clippers when your toe nails are smaller than your finger nails? toenails are bigger

Is the opposite of "out of whack" "in whack"? sure

If you try to fail and suceed, what did you just do? you just.. succeeded

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! because goofy's special. he can talk.

Why is the blackboard green? some are black

Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple? because

Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10? they want you to have to buy more of something

What do you call male ballerinas? ballerinas..

How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter? it works that way.

If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first? sure

Why are pennies bigger than dimes? because.. they are.

Did they have antiques in the olden days? yes

Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes? white with black stripes

If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid? because it's just a phrase and some people don't want to eat a whole shitload of them

Is a sleeping bag a nap sack? sure

What came first, the fruit or the color orange? fruit

Where does the white go when the snow melts? it just evaporates into the earth..

Can blind people see their dreams? yes, if they weren't born blind, i guess

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule? sure

Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows? to get to things. it's just navigation

Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids? because rabbits might DIE FROM ALL THAT SUGAR.. koff.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? because he doesn't

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? because some people want to break those rules

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore? fixed from doing mischief :P

If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? because

If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist? sure

why is it called lipstick when it always comes off? because it sticks on

If when people freak out they are said to be "having a cow", when cows freak out are they said to be "having a person?" sure

Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not? yeah

Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER? because

Why do we leave expensive cars in the drivway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage? HAHA because you want to show if off.. flaunt it

why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating rings? lmfaaaaao. some people come to WATCH

What happens if someone loses a lost and found box? then it's lost

Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump? i guess.

What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about? who knows

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg? they don't say that

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? lmfao. testicals!

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? because it's a rule. they have to sterilize everything

Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter? hahahaha because

What would happen if an Irresistable Force met an Immovable Object? uhm.

What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy? wise man is a smart man. wise guy is a smartass.

If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers? sure

how can you chop down a tree and then chop it up? you chop it down off its stump and then you can chop it up into pieces for wood

Why are both male and female ladybugs called ladybugs instead of ladybugs and manbugs? because it just works that way

How can you hear yourself think? it's a phrase

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? from stuff

Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man? sure!

Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot? cool car hot

How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing? because they do

If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas? ......because, it's a KIDS thing garsh.

If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? sure

Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? because. you want to get yourself painty!

if you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade? i guess

Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth? uh. it's PHRASES ONCE AGAIN

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? sure

If the speed of movement is slower than the speed of light - how fast is a moving light? iono.

why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car? because you get in, you slide down into it and for a bus, you get on, because it's higher

Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy? because you're a sissy if you're a mama's boy

How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on? improved from stuff that's similar to it

Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse? ..?
Why did they name that underwear company fruit of the loom? because

Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open? they need extra in case of some "mad rush"

Why do The Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Mary Had a Little Lamb all have the same tune? because it was a cool tune

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? probably not
How does santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney? the door/window

If you get cheated by the better business bereau, who do you complain to? uh

If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? go to heaven

What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane? geronimo

What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken? cheese

why are turds pinched off at the end? ....

I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed? sure!

If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends? because she's a freaking doll. who cares! you buy her anyway

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants? because he can

If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented? sure

How come overtones and undertones are the same thing? because.. they.. are.

What would you use to dilute water? *shrugs*

What should one call a male ladybird? ladybird

How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with? cause

If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you? uhh

Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass? lmao

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose? i guess

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? the stone wall

Aren't all generalizations false? yes, sure

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? haha, i guess so

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? no

Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!? no, you shouldn't, anyway

Can you be a closet claustrophobic? sure

Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? yeah

If so, how could you treat them? uhm. you wouldn't

Did Adam and Eve have navels? yeah..

Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip? i guess so

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? lol, yeah. my dog hates that.

But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window! haha, yeah. they're usually hot, and breath is hotter than the wind

Do fish get cramps after eating? i guess so

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? sure, why not

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? haha, sure

Do one legged ducks swim in circles? i guess they do

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's? ..sure

Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? hahahahaha, i guess

Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval? yeah

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? no

If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday? 29th

Do birds pee? yeah

Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts? two. two different people

Why is it at a Chinese restaurant an egg roll is called that when there is no egg in it? because that's the way it goes

Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk? because.

What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not? "i am not"

If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see? yeah

Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? haha, no

You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for? yeah. that'd be cool

If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator? uhm. equatorwise

If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a
nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage? no.

If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldnt you see through everything and actually see nothing? sure

If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind? yeah

Why does "closing up" a shop and "closing down" a shop mean the same thing? because. you close up the shop and when you close down it's just gone

Why do they call them "Animal Crackers" when there not even crackers...they're cookies? they're sort of both

Can a one-eyed person have 20/20 vision? yeah

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? more than you want to know

Have ex-cowboys become deranged?? sure

Have ex-drycleaners become depressed? sure.

How do you throw away a garbage can? put it inside of a trash can or put a sign on it that says "THROW ME AWAY"

Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A & Canada? because it is




WHOA! That took a long time.