Things Sed In Court Options

[F1R3B4T]

Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q: Please state the nature of your relationship to the minor child?
A: I\'m his mother.
Q: And you have been so all of his life?

Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A: It indicates intercourse.
Attorney: Male sperm?
Q: That is the only kind I know.

Q: Doctor, as a result of your examination of the plaintiff, is the young lady pregnant?
A: The young lady is pregnant ? but not as a result of my examination.


Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

[F1R3B4T]

These are my favorite Cross-Examination moment.

Congress Cross-X moments:
[Kid gives a speech on why we need National ID Cards to prevent spying]
Q: Privyet, I'm vith Department of State Security, may we see your indentification papers please, Comrade?
A: Uh...Uh...
Q: You have no identification? Zen you must be capitalist spy, nyet?
A: No...
Q: Would you like to have Boris and Alexei over for little tea and chat, da?
A: Um...

[Guy gives a speech -- one line is "This bill is like Swiss Cheese, it's full of holes and it stinks]
Q: Would the speaker rather have Swiss Cheese or none at all?
A: Well, I guess Swiss cheese is better than no cheese...

Debate Cross-X moments:
Q: You stated in your case that the Earth was really old, what relevance does this have to the topic?
A: Because we should respect it since it has seniority over us.
Q: So because I'm a junior and you're a freshman, I should win this round?
A: No...

LOL LMAO THIS IS FUNNY AS HELL!!!!!
thanks for posting it!!