funny quotes, post your own too Options

[sadolakced acid]

whoever said papercuts are the worst has never been given a razor to play with.

build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

got any more?

[GreenTze]

heres a few:

Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if
they already know everything."

Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it
for a while...it isn't so hot.

"I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get
to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen."

"If you're playing a poker game and you look around the
table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you."

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant.
Every table had an argument going."

"According to a recent survey, men say the first thing
they notice about a women are their eyes.
And women say the first thing they notice about men
is they're a bunch of liars."

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now
the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession.
I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the
first."

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but
it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half
for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."