falling in love with a close friend.. Options

[L00d]

okay.. so i've known this girl for around 2 years now, and ever since i met her i always had a feeling me and her were gonna end up together. i met her in my 2nd semester in 10th grade and still talk to her every day up until now. a few months ago she had just broken up with her bf and she was asking me who to hook up with.. M or T (each letter standing for a person). i said.. how 'bout C (meaning me) and she goes "that wasn't a letter choice". i asked her if she knew what i meant about that and she said yes... now she just hooked up with someone a few days ago, and it feels like she's talking to me even more now because one of her really close guy friends who she's known for 4 years and trusts him even more than her own sister, decided to just stop talking to her and avoid her whenever she's around. then she messages me saying how she was thinking of me cuz she was feeling really sad and my cellphone was off and she really needed to talk to me... so i had to promise to her that i'll always keep it on from now on.

anyways... it just sucks how she's always gonna see me as her big brother, i wish she knew how deep my feelings for her were.. i care so much about her and she's made a really big impact on my life.. if only she knew how much she meant to me and changed her mind... =[

this ever happened to anyone else..? because it sure does suck and i don't know what to do besides just be there for her whenever she needs a shoulder to cry on

sigh.. if only she knew...

oh yeah, and here's something that i wrote on her site a while ago just so you people will understand how much she means to me..

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Hi ****** =] I know you feel down sometimes.. so i figure i'd write something that might cheer you up =] But anyways, i'm basically writing this to let you know how much i really value our friendship. You're the only person that has made me realize that i'm special in my own way and worth something. No one has ever really cared about me or thought of me the way you do. You have been the only one and I'm real grateful you came along and i met you. I always look forward to every time we get to talk, whether it's just a simple "Hi" in the hallways at school or a long and deep conversation on aim. I really appreciate everytime you message me knowing that you don't have to but you do because you know i wanna talk. You can brighten up my whole day just by smiling at me. You always believe in me and at times i feel like i owe you something but don't know what. You're just such a great person and i'm really glad i found you =) I'm also grateful that you're such an understanding person, and care enough about me to never get mad or angry at me for any reason. Thanks for everything, you'll be one of those few people that I'll never forget in my life. I want you to know that if you ever need anything i can't promise that i'll ALWAYS be there for you, but i'll definately try to. If I ever do or say something that upsets you in anyways.. just tell me.. i've always been honest with you, so you can do the same even if it's something negative, i'll try to see things on your side first. I'm sure you know you're a very important person to me, and many other people out there, and at times it feels like i've known you forever.. and i love how you can make me smile just by looking at me (haha i know everyone can make me smile but you're better at it than them lol). I just want you to know that you've made a persons life worth living and have changed my mind about a few things in a good way. I feel like i can tell you almost anything, and at times, i feel like i can tell you more than i can with my best friends whom i've known for more than 10 years, because i know i can trust you, and i know that you won't say anything or make a big deal of what i tell you. You're a very understanding person which really means alot. Thank you for everything you've done for me, you have no idea how much it really means to me, basically because i never really show it. You've changed my perspective on things in my life, and i just wanted to say thanks, and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY =D

Take Care,
C.S.

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any thoughts or comments..?

[aud_chua]

*pats shoulder*
sigh.. i know how you feel.. even though i'm a girl, for some odd reason, i actually told my best friend (who is a guy) that i have feelings for him.. after that, he kinda just went away a bit.. that's what really sucks..
like.. the best relationship would be built on a foundation of friendship.. most people would want that.. but others just don't get it.. they want it to be like those romantic scenes where it's love at first sight or some other bull like that..
i guess your friend just doens't feel the same way or is afraid.. (i'm sorry if this interpretation is wrong.. i just took a quick glance at your posts.. )
but anyway.. don't worry!! there are other people out there!! and i'm sure there's someone who's more willing to go into a relationship with you..
cheer up and drink some sake to ease your mind.. (or some alternative) heheh...!
peace!