Hell in your eyes, Heaven in your kiss, Suicidal, love poem...er...don't ask.. Options

[Sa-Chan]

Another poem I wrote...love...depression...suicide?



Hell In Your Eyes, Heaven In Your Kiss
By: Savannah (Me)


Suicidal thoughts,
They cloud my weary mind.
Take the knife,
And slice my wrists.

Bleed me dry,
And let me feel your lips.
Hell in your eyes...
Heaven in your kiss.

I wish that just once,
You could look at me and know me.
Truly, deep down, know me,
Just once see me for me.

I want to leave,
But if you scream my name,
Just one last time...
I will stay.

Suicidal images,
They plague my memory.
My mind and heart,
Corrupted by death and rancor.

I feel pain in the things,
That aren't even really there.
Agony and doom,
Lost deep in despair.

Hell...it resonates,
From your fiery glare.
But I'm in heaven,
With your mere kiss.

Cast away my suicide,
Cast away my tears.
Save me from today,
Don't throw me away.

And I'm in bliss,
And I am truly happy...
Here in the hell that hides,
Behind your cold, hard stare.

[ryfitaDF]

woah! welcome back! i havn't seen you in a while.

that's a pretty nice poem you got there.

a tip, though, if you're willing to take it:

i try not to use the same word twice in verces.

like instead of "pain, death, and hate" i'd use, say, "agony, doom, and Rancor"
don't be ashamed to use a thesarus.