Depression Kills??, My First writing piece...it needs work Options

[Squeegie]

THIS NEEDS ALLLOOOT OF WORK

but i wrote it for a band i know and it will be one of their songs when im done iwth it

some of the lines should be edited i know but can you please help me with some suggestions?? thnx

lol oops
for got to put it in.... look below

[Squeegie]

Depression Kills
By: Devin Galloway

I'm going to shout out in pain
You always make me feel in vane
Why do you do this to me so
Im going rest on the pillow

I just feel like dieing
cause trying to get you is like flying
You're making me want to slit my wrists
But I can't as long as you exist

I'm srry for all I've ever done
All I feel is like i should be gone
But I know I cannot go
Cause it just does not flow

Strung out, Cut up
The voices wont shutup