Punch Him in the Face!!!, U Lil' Shits Options

[bat19]

I was walking down a sidewalk. A bright red cardinal flew by face, turned in mid air and flew forward in the direction I had been walking. There was some kind of commotion happening. These two kids, boys of good family were holding hands and skipping playfully up the walk towards me. As they drew near, I noticed their grips tightened, the fingers pushed against same sex flesh. They're shoulders came closer together, protecting eachother from my foreboding presence on the walk. I yelled to the boys that their handplay was an unnatural heresy against the lord. I spat in their direction and the words "Heathen!!" flew from my lips.

I told them to hit eachother to prove their stock. They proceeded to pummel one another for several minutes until they fell, exhausted, in limp heaps upon the ground. My work finished, I kept walking.

[Uronacid]

You really showed them self-worth; taught them a valuable lesson. I'm glad you were there to be a father figure.