Da da da daa, Da duh duh dow Options

[bat19]

What's up pinkies?

Frank the midget works at a mattress store. He is in fact a mattress salesman. Big men have big dreams. Frank is a midget, thus he works at a mattress store as a mattress salesman.
There was a time when he didn't mind making the 3 hour commute in his Smartcar to find that Bill, the resident top salesman had just sold his ninth memoryfoam mattress of the week, meeting his quota first to win the $20 gift card to Chipotle. Now however, he did mind.
For one thing, the rapture had occurred, sending 5% of the population to the pearly gates. The rest of the world's population was too busy warding off demons and nightmares to fork over $700 on a spring mattress, there were other matters to attend to.
When the week came to a close, there was yet another storm cloud sticker next to his name on the monthly goals sheet. This mean that the masnager would once again call him to his office and watch in avid fascination and tasteless humor as he struggled with his little legs to climb onto the stool. This time however, something was different. He could hear the rumble of Chuck's 95' Chevy Blazer squeak to a stop outside.
Chuck trudged in, leaving red streaks on the window. His face was dirty and gaunt. There was a smell that came off of him in horrendous wafts which made frank want to throw up tiny chunks. Chuck moaned loudly and Frank could see clearly now that Chuck was a zombie.
"Shit!" squeaked frank as chuck lurched forwards. Had he been a full grown man, he could have easily ran from the impending danger, but full sized he was not. It wasn't long before dead chuck's teeth landed on frank the midget's scalp, tearing off a razor thin amount of flesh, but enough for the infection to seep in.
Chuck was sprawled on the floor and frank was able to escape almost intact.
Frank's day went from bad to worse. But that was just the first day. Frank the midget soon walked through life with a new identity, a stronger more fearful identity. He was now Frank, the world's only midget zombie!!!

[iRapediCarly]

On the northside of Uganda lies a particular liquor store that Jimmy has become accustomed to. There is a certain pack of bumblegum that he likes. It used to be very popular back in the day where all the kids chewed it, but now only Jimmy and his friends buy it. Jimmy, sadly, was a poor boy. He could afford no more gum. Then on one stormy night, Jimmy decided to steal from that store. He picked the back door lock and raced to the candy section. With his eyes gleaming at the sight of his favorite gum, a huge sound of glass breaking filled the room. Jimmy quickly ducked and sneaked into safety. As every second passes, a shadow filtered is flickering in Jimmy's eyes. He saw a thief, ready to rob this store. A strange phenomenon had occurred. Jimmy's emotions jumped from scared to anger. This is his store, how dare someone else steal from it? Without a hitch, Jimmy ran to the robber as he picked up the nearest weapon and bashed the thief in the head. As the man dropped to the floor, Jimmy quickly ran back home. When the next morning occurred, Jimmy made his daily routine walk to the store. He noticed the broken glass, the thief still lying on the ground, dead. For Jimmy had saved the store from being robbed, but created someone else entirely.