gentleman? do people still have manners nowadays? Options

[brooklyneast05]

do you try to be a mannerly young gentleman?



i do. open doors, pull out chairs, stand up when a woman returns to the table provided we are at a nice restaurant and not mcdonalds, etc. unless i'm in a bad mood, then sometimes i just slam the door in my girlfriends face and what not.

[karmakiller]

I don't understand a man standing up when a lady leaves the table, unless if he is sitting next to her and him standing up helps her leave the table without causing a commotion. Or if she is leaving for good, then it's always easier to give her a hug, shake her hand, whatever, when both of you are standing.

I think in general good manners should be used to show respect and appreciation, not something you do because you have to. If you were to come to my house for dinner and put your elbows on the table or reached across the table to grab a dish of food that you wanted, no one would say anything, because my family doesn't think it's disrespectful, but if you were to come and eat without saying thank you or if you didn't excuse yourself from the table in the middle of the meal and just got up and left, it would be considered disrespectful.

Holding the door is something people will even do for strangers, but it's not something you should expect people to do for you. If I go out with a guy and he holds the door I appreciate it, but I'm not going to stand there and wait for him to open the damn door. I'm not that delicate of a woman that I need a "man" to open the heavy door for me... maybe some of these things came about not out of respect but because women were seen as weak? I mean why would I stand there and wait for him to open the car door for me, when opening the door myself would hurry things along?