so what do you think about the begging of my journal entry., review me cb. |
 Feb 10 2010, 01:22 AM
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 L!ckitySplit  Group: Member Posts: 4,325 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 129,329  |
okay well i gotta do this entry thing on my opinion and ideals of higher powers for one of my classes. its not supposed to be TOO long
the best collection of entries after the semester is done gets a treat. probably sex. i just wrote this entry about 45 minutes ago so i wanted to see what cb would think, because i'm not really done but i rushed kinda quick. so yeah. lawl sex here's my first entry THAT IS NOT DONE, im still doing it as we speak lol. i dont write so good, but just tell me if its not too embarrasing. cuz i really want teh sex. its not done im continuing off of that so yeah meh, i probably gotta delete this soon so that when they run it through the machine they dont find this off of this link hah edit//sorry had to delete it guys, thanks for the input! |
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Feb 10 2010, 06:48 PM
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 I'm Jc Group: Mentor Posts: 13,619 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 437,556 |
i agree about the revisions. a lot of it just doesn't make sense to me. not the ideas but just the way you worded stuff either makes no sense or is awkward. you could make it a lot more readable. it gets to be wordy for the sake of being wordy in my opinion.
makes it hard to understand what you're getting at. if you're saying god has too many human characteristics, probably because he was made up by humans, then i agree. |
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Posts in this topic
AngryBaby so what do you think about the begging of my journal entry. Feb 10 2010, 01:22 AM
smash seems like you wrote well enough to me. the piece ... Feb 10 2010, 01:43 AM Reidar Sentences don't make sense: "Now I explai... Feb 10 2010, 03:48 AM AngryBaby thanks, its funny, because you touched on the crap... Feb 10 2010, 01:38 PM
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