Createblog Diary Options

[faithin_felix]

so people can post here more than once. perhaps once everyday and share your day with fellow createbloggers. So write your day and what did you do?

[eboarder2020]

Dear Diary;

I guess its luck but its the same Hard luck... I guess its love but its like she said, Love is like a role that we play...I could die from the words that you say



God DAMMIT...So today was teh first day I've seen megan in months... I met her and her friends at the beach hoping to finnally get to talk to her, see whats been on her mind, and to meet and talk to new and old friends... It wasnt that. Today was a really hard day. Seeing megan for the first time today was so hard. Her boyfriend was there... Need i say what and how i felt??? It was so hard to look at her and not feel anything. Its so hard to see her and not remind myself how much I miss her. I miss her... I miss everything. I even miss the f**king arguments. As the time on the beach passed i realized that I went for the wrong reasons. I went because I missed her... And going there wasnt going to make my missing her ease up, instead it made me miss her more. As I drove home i kept telling myself to stay strong, to hold my head up high, to let it go. But the more i think about it, the more it hurts. The more it hurts, the more i break. It hurts when I think about her. I always think about her, and whenever I do, I catch myself asking if she misses me...Does she think about me, does she ever think about me when shes bored, when shes hurt, when shes lost, when shes happy?

Its just not fair. I've herd about megans new boyfriends. I've herd what they did, I've herd there past... It hurts to know that they arent being the best person for her. It hurts because i know megans criteria of guys. I know what she wants. I know what she demands. And these guys dont even meet half the things she asks. They dont go out of there way for her, they dont become truthful, they didnt love her like I did. How did all these guys get there way into her heart and not go through the trouble i did. I went through it all... I had to prove my self to her more than once, I was the one who held her high when she was low...They got it all, and here I am the guy who did all he can to be the man she wanted, needed, and asked for, and Im the guy suffering.

I read on someones site that says "Do you know this person...I replied...I used too". Thats what I would tell someone if they asked if i knew megan. I dont know her anymore. I miss the old her. Granted I havent really talked to her in two months but where did the old megan go. The old megan i used to remember was the type of girl who only said things when she felt that they would help the other person. The old megan who wouldnt settle for second best, the old megan who never let someone in her heart unless they proved themselves worthy? Where was the old megan that whenever she walked by everyone could notice the passion and fire in her eyes to be better? What happend to the megan who was home on time, who didnt sneak out, who really thought about things before doing them, who cared more about her friends then herself, the one who wrote letters, who smiled at me, who held me, who kissed me, who told me she loved me...Whered she go? Please tell me where my megan went???

The memories I keep are from a time like then
I put on my paper so I could come back to them
Someday i'm hopin to close my eyes and pretend
That this crumpled up paper can be perfect again