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Reidar, glorious philanthropist.
Reidar
post Aug 16 2009, 12:53 AM
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I caught this moron bird in my garage. It's either a juvenile sparrow or a pussy adult who can't fly. It doesn't appear to be injured.




Then the ***hole decided to get cozy and sleep on my hand.



At this point I was fighting an insatiable urge to pop it in my mouth for a fresh source of protein, but I already have a meaty dinner lined up so the sucker gets off easy tonight. Instead, I decided to take advantage of the moment for propaganda purposes and to give the illusion of being a caring animal-rights advocate by building a makeshift shelter for it, where it quickly fell back asleep.



It doesn't respond to English, so my best surmise at the moment is that it's a Soviet spy. I'll keep tabs on it closely. Any suggestions on how the Geneva Convention deductions on torture apply to captured birds? I think I could glean some information out of it by making it listen to Noam Chomsky lectures for an hour.
 
 
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manny-the-dino
post Aug 16 2009, 01:40 AM
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Haha I love how it's just sitting there in the box. SO CUTE.
 

Posts in this topic
Reidar   Reidar, glorious philanthropist.   Aug 16 2009, 12:53 AM
doughnut   aww how adorable, you kept a bird in a shoe box. t...   Aug 16 2009, 01:23 AM
IWontRapeYou   awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww   Aug 16 2009, 01:25 AM
jcp   Awwww, reidar. Youve gone soft. What a sweet thing...   Aug 16 2009, 01:32 AM
Reidar   Gross, cut it out. Also, that white stuff in the t...   Aug 16 2009, 01:35 AM
manny-the-dino   Haha I love how it's just sitting there in the...   Aug 16 2009, 01:40 AM
Reidar   QUOTE(manny-the-dino @ Aug 16 2009,...   Aug 16 2009, 02:00 AM
Buttsex   <3internet   Aug 16 2009, 01:42 AM
IWontRapeYou   wtf man. Train it to kill.   Aug 16 2009, 02:32 AM
moirakas   i want one D:   Aug 16 2009, 02:43 AM
Reidar   I've settled on a name for it after much conte...   Aug 16 2009, 02:47 AM
moirakas   don't eat it mail him to me~   Aug 16 2009, 02:49 AM
Buttsex   That reminds me of my old dog. His name was Dog.   Aug 16 2009, 02:50 AM
Reidar   How unoriginal and inane.   Aug 16 2009, 02:51 AM
Buttsex   Yeah, I've never been too good at thinking up ...   Aug 16 2009, 02:53 AM
ArjunaCapulong   QUOTE(IWontRapeYou @ Aug 16 2009, 02:25 A...   Aug 16 2009, 03:11 AM
karmakiller   I agree with Abbey. Train it to do useful stuff, l...   Aug 16 2009, 04:52 PM
Reidar   He's finally with his own kind. I went down in...   Aug 16 2009, 06:13 PM
drinksmokefuck   RE: Reidar, glorious philanthropist.   Aug 16 2009, 06:38 PM
Amaranthus   It's proabably dead.   Aug 16 2009, 07:15 PM
fire   So this heart you have, is it your own did you fin...   Aug 16 2009, 07:23 PM
ArjunaCapulong   more like he ripped it out of somebody's body   Aug 16 2009, 07:31 PM
technicolour   OMG, I never thought you'd care about such a s...   Aug 16 2009, 10:59 PM
jcp   QUOTE(technicolour @ Aug 16 2009, 10:59 P...   Aug 16 2009, 11:12 PM
karmakiller   QUOTE(jcp @ Aug 16 2009, 11:12 PM) I have...   Aug 16 2009, 11:59 PM
Reidar   I don't care about reputation. They kidnapped ...   Aug 17 2009, 01:16 AM
drinksmokefuck   FALCON KICK   Aug 17 2009, 01:22 AM
fire   Its Falcon Punch yo.   Aug 17 2009, 01:32 AM
drinksmokefuck   but birds dont have arms   Aug 17 2009, 02:43 PM
Reidar   Someone trying to smear Bird: [00:20] knifedn3ck:...   Aug 18 2009, 08:26 PM
kryogenix   Ah well everybody's heard about the bird.   Aug 18 2009, 08:40 PM
-DressYourEyelids-   i'm bored with bird. bring out cat.   Aug 19 2009, 07:59 AM


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