Dr. :santa: Options

[brooklyneast05]

well i had to make a new thread since TJ ruined my last one. we're starting over.

i've decided to be the self proclaimed relationship expert of createblog's relationship forum. if you need advice, just post your problem here and i will guide you through your trouble waters and relationship hurdles.






NOTICE: don't ask me about mr. compatibility. this thread isn't mr. compatibility. if you have a problem with mr. compatibility's production speed then go find someone else to be him. i'll do it when i want to and i won't when i don't.


this is Dr. , don't get the two confused

[hypnotique]

Lets see your skills.

Man needs to break it off because he needs to focus on school. Man says he loves me and he intends on not making the break up permanent. Man isnt looking for a relationship with anyone and tells me daily hes still crazy about me and all that shit. How ever man feels he cannot tell me things that are flirtatious or about how attractive he finds me because at this time we are just "friends" So with that said I decided to take an offer to go on a date with a classmate of mine, I still have feelings for man but I don't like how he will only pay attention to me if he feels theres a possibility theres another man or woman trying to hit on me or get with me and then has all these expectations that I shouldn't expect him to treat me the same as he did when i was his girlfriend and he keeps throwing the "friends" card on me anytime i decide to express my feelings...Yet somehow when hes threatened he'll pour all the love on me and do the whole "i miss you" bullshit.

So with that said, Is it wrong to date other people? even though man says he loves me and this break up isnt permanent but it looks like we are going to be separated well into a full year or something (I dont have a interest in going as far as to have sex with other people) but I just want little dates here and there.

[brooklyneast05]

Lets see your skills.

Man needs to break it off because he needs to focus on school. Man says he loves me and he intends on not making the break up permanent. Man isnt looking for a relationship with anyone and tells me daily hes still crazy about me and all that shit. How ever man feels he cannot tell me things that are flirtatious or about how attractive he finds me because at this time we are just "friends" So with that said I decided to take an offer to go on a date with a classmate of mine, I still have feelings for man but I don't like how he will only pay attention to me if he feels theres a possibility theres another man or woman trying to hit on me or get with me and then has all these expectations that I shouldn't expect him to treat me the same as he did when i was his girlfriend and he keeps throwing the "friends" card on me anytime i decide to express my feelings...Yet somehow when hes threatened he'll pour all the love on me and do the whole "i miss you" bullshit.

So with that said, Is it wrong to date other people? even though man says he loves me and this break up isnt permanent but it looks like we are going to be separated well into a full year or something (I dont have a interest in going as far as to have sex with other people) but I just want little dates here and there.

dr. says yes you should date. he shouldn't have any claim over you whatsoever. if you by choice want to not go very far or get involved with other people then that's ok as long as it's for your sake and not his. but his opinion on that matter is irrelevant. he can't play the jealousy junk because he lost his right to do that when he broke it off. if he wanted to lay any kind of claim on you that badly then they should have stayed with you.

i don't believe in the focus on school stuff. i guess maybe that's a legit reason for some people, i don't know. my girlfriend has never made it impossible for me to "focus on school" or vise versa. that's just my situation though, you guys are probably way different from my relationship. i still feel like people could make it work if they wanted to that badly you know?

anyway you should have no obligations or be required to do or not do something over him anymore. if you're friends then you're friends both ways. he can't have his cake and eat it too.


p.s. i don't even get what the point is in pretending you're just friends and trying to treat you like one. that seems stupid/a waste of time if he intends to get back with you anyway.

[batman]

i don't believe in the focus on school stuff. i guess maybe that's a legit reason for some people, i don't know. my girlfriend has never made it impossible for me to "focus on school" or vise versa. that's just my situation though, you guys are probably way different from my relationship. i still feel like people could make it work if they wanted to that badly you know?

agree w/ dr

i think we've had this conversation before a while back. tbh taking a break because of school or work is just ridiculous. if he needs to focus on school, then maybe give him some space or let him study when he needs to study. it doesn't mean you guys need to actually "break up but not break up" and go through all that unnecessary drama.

[brooklyneast05]

it doesn't mean you guys need to actually "break up but not break up" and go through all that unnecessary drama.

yeah exactly. i think having a break up makes it harder to focus on school/work/anything than staying together.