I hate when my parents fight Options

[emberfly]

My mother has talked to us (kids + husband) about a divorce since I was about 8 or so.

I just can't stand when they fight. It makes me feel so horrible. I can't stand my father 80% of the time, but I would just hate to lose him. I do not want a divorce.





I am writing this because my father was insulting my mother in front of her + us kids while we were trying to do a family project. It ended a few minutes ago. He was belittling her and just being totally awful.

I couldn't stand it.

Is there anything I can do? I do NOT want a divorce.

[emberfly]

You think a divorce is better off? She wouldn't have put up with him for SO LONG if she wanted a divorce. She keeps telling me that men mellow out as they get older because their bodies stop making as much testosterone.

She WANTS TO STAY MARRIED. She doesn't want to be alone when she's old.

[superstitious]

You think a divorce is better off? She wouldn't have put up with him for SO LONG if she wanted a divorce. She keeps telling me that men mellow out as they get older because their bodies stop making as much testosterone.

She WANTS TO STAY MARRIED. She doesn't want to be alone when she's old.

Just because someone gets divorced, doesn't mean that they will end up "alone." Trust me when I say that sometimes kids are far better off when parents separate than when parents make everyone in the household miserable because of some socially mandated need to keep it together. It's bullshit. I'm sorry, but it's bullshit. Wouldn't you rather some adjustment time than have years of fighting, yelling and awkward moments?

It sucks that it isn't working out with the parents, truly, it sucks and I'm so sorry that it's happening. That being said, you need to remember that when your folks are happy, you have a better chance of being happy and it appears that the only way that will occur is through separation. You'll get past it and it will be much better than the emotional and psychological purgatory the household, in general, is probably in right now.

edit: Also, don't be so quick to determine "middle age" and relationship dynamics. You'd be surprised what us 30 somethings are capable of, how quickly we can heal and move on. And yes, have active sex lives and find companionship.

[hypnotique]

Just because someone gets divorced, doesn't mean that they will end up "alone." Trust me when I say that sometimes kids are far better off when parents separate than when parents make everyone in the household miserable because of some socially mandated need to keep it together. It's bullshit. I'm sorry, but it's bullshit. Wouldn't you rather some adjustment time than have years of fighting, yelling and awkward moments?

It sucks that it isn't working out with the parents, truly, it sucks and I'm so sorry that it's happening. That being said, you need to remember that when your folks are happy, you have a better chance of being happy and it appears that the only way that will occur is through separation. You'll get past it and it will be much better than the emotional and psychological purgatory the household, in general, is probably in right now.

edit: Also, don't be so quick to determine "middle age" and relationship dynamics. You'd be surprised what us 30 somethings are capable of, how quickly we can heal and move on. And yes, have active sex lives and find companionship.

I agree.

My mother is 39 and she has a pretty decent dating life LOL