This girl's dad is crazy Options

[Reidar]

Well, well, we meet again. I've been keeping to myself lately, finding no real incentive to meander on socially with people when it's so hard to trust anyone now. My phone's disconnected and I trashed my Lexus to root out the most obvious possibilities of listening devices on my premises (I'm now riding a custom-modded Ninja 250R motorcycle with the words "DON'T TREAD ON ME" underneath a machine-gun mounted T-Rex on a rear decal). I've been diligent with my daily training ritual and studious in my academics, but I have to confess: I met a girl. No, it's not like that. Far from it, actually.

Long story short, it started in class one day when we were having a discussion on the Louisiana Purchase, and this pencil-pushing putz pointed out how the acquisition faced a lot of domestic opposition for increasing federal executive power. So I stood up and was like, "You know, Jay, I can't help but get the feeling that if you had been at the reigns in 1803, under the likes of your negotiations, the preliminaries of the Louisiana Purchase wouldn't have even come to fruition." Now, I'm hardly one to gloat over such easy prey, but ****ing burn. His eyes widened in shock and his slobbering jaw feebly flapped open as he tried to emit a rebuttal, but when no words formed, he turned beet-red and looked away sheepishly. A little while after that, we were paired up with partners to do this (stupid) poster project about how Thomas Jefferson's perspicacity on the purchase influenced trade, or something. I got stuck with this one girl who sits behind me, so I picked up my desk and turned it around to face her.
"Alright, let's get this over with. I'll draw cyborg-Jefferson slaughtering the French army before forcing Napoleon to sign the agreement in the blood of his country men, and you can do one of the circles for the venn diagram. But only one."
She just nodded and didn't say anything, no doubt from being in awe at my idea. I was really getting into this now, but by the time the period had ended we (I) still had a lot to do, so I just figured I'd take it home and finish up the rest.

Well, afterwards, this same girl approached me as I was walking out the room and making my way to my ride in the parking lot. By the way, excuse the tenses here. Literary liberties and all.
"Hey, Reidar...wait up!"
I slowly turn around, facing her in my dark sunglasses. "Can't you read the sign? 'NO SOLICITORS'?"
She stops, puzzled. "What sign...?"
I'm about to flip her off and go, "THIS sign", but the two seconds in which that sounded funny in my brain ran its course, so I didn't. "Forget it. What do you want?"
"Uh...well, since we still have to finish the project, I thought maybe we should do it together."
I suddenly realize that I hadn't let her draw the diagram circle in class. "Oh, good point."
"Do you want to come over tonight and finish? We'll have the house to ourselves..."
This is really pushing it now, but I agree. Call me vain, but a poster this badass shouldn't be seen by just my eyes alone. So she gave me an address and directions to her place. She also told me her name, "Loretta". I think, anyways.

When the time finally came, I didn't have any trouble finding the house. It was huge, practically a mansion, nestled in its own isolated spot of land looming over the sloped street. I had to get cleared at the gate before I was allowed in. It was pretty cool, actually. Loretta answered the door wearing a fancy-schmancy outfit. Her hair was done up and she smelled like perfume. I didn't get it.
"Why, hello~o Reidar!" she cooed in a sing-song voice. "I've been waiting for you. Won't you come in?"
"Yeah...okay." I gave her a weird look as I entered, lugging behind me all of my materials. "Oh, it turns out one piece of paper wasn't enough to fit my full vision of the massacre, so I had to staple three other sheets to make one huge canvas. We'll need a lot more spaghetti sauce than I originally thought to use for the blood. Extra chunky."
She giggled and twirled a lock of her hair, obviously enchanted by my great idea. The best part about this medium was that it would attract actual flies to buzz around, just like real dead people.
Her house was enormous inside, all done up and everything. Ornate decorum, priceless paintings, intricate architectural structures, and a huge fireplace all created an impressive scene. "Wow. You guys are pretty loaded," I remarked.
"Yeah, thanks..."
"What do your parents do, anyways? You said they wouldn't be home."
"Er, I live with my father. He'll be out for awhile... He's in, uh, real estate...yeah..."
"Damn. Well, I don't know any real estate puns, but if I did, you'd be laughing right about now."
She laughed anyways. What a jerk.

And she wouldn't stop giggling and crap. It was getting on my nerves at first, but before long, I was so into my project that I hardly noticed. What happens next isn't really one of my proudest moments, but I was barely even paying attention. We were sort-of making small talk while we worked and sharing a few laughs, when all of a sudden she asks me, "So, Reidar. Will you go out with me?"
"What? Yeah, sure. Whatever," I reply absent-mindedly.
"Really?! Oh, Reidar!" she suddenly exclaims before HUGGING me without any warning. "Hey, what the...?!" I shout in surprise.
Just at that very moment, in mid-embrace, the door adjacent to us swings open.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" a booming voice angrily demands. I crane my neck to see a tall, statuesque old man in a business suit standing in the door frame, fists clenched and neck veins bulging out.
She quickly jumps off of me. "Father! I...I..."
"Loretta?! Who is this? Do you not know my rule of no friends allowed? I'm the only friend you need! And not only that, but you bring home a...a BOY to straddle and mingle with while I'm not here?!"
"Father please...it's not like that. Reidar here is completely innocent..."
I'm not one to be the elephant in the room, so I stand up and offer my hand out to shake. "Well, Mr...uh, Mr. Loretta's dad, I presume. My name is Reidar. You may attach the title 'Esquire' after it for a classy effect. I only came here to work on a school art project with your daughter."
"I'll show you a schooling!" he cries as he swings a punch at my face. Immediately, I side-step out of the way and deliver an open-palm White Crane strike right to his temple, staggering him. "Talk to the hand," I say without flinching. Loretta is watching in horror with her hands covering her mouth as she cowers against the wall, but I have to do what I have to do. Her father explodes back in fury, tackling me by my waist. I move back with his inertia so as not to lose my balance and I manage to secure double-underhooks around his armpits, which gives me control in the clinch. Using this to my advantage, I deliver a crushing Muay Thai knee to his face. He stumbles away, dazed, and then collapses on one knee to the floor.

"Gasp...you're...you're pretty good," he stammers. "You just might not be...any ordinary young hooligan..."
"You'd better quit while you still can, old man," I warn. "I had to sue NBC for the rights to what I'd already named my two legs: Law and Order."
"Heh." He rises to his feet, a sudden and strange demeanor of deadly calm now exuding from him. "Reidar, was it? I... am Jericho, worldly-prestigious entrepreneur and president of Lector Corp, the top producer of drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, fast food, sugary cereal, and prostitution rings. It's not an honest business, no, but I do what I must to gain power in this world. Power is all that matters to me. With power, I can crush my enemies with a wave of my hand. I can dictate what I want, when I want. Most importantly, I can use it to protect my loving daughter, sweet Loretta..." He nods over to her and she looks away to avoid his gaze. "You see, Reidar...when one power overwhelms everything else, there is no more war. No more strife. No more dispute. Everything is ruled by one enforcing iron fist."
"You're wrong, Jericho," I state matter-of-factly. "You want to bring about peace in the world by fear with your Machiavellianism. But that's not right. People respond to love and kindness. What's the point of peace if it's not alongside freedom? The will of humanity is not destined to be bound in your shackles of tyranny."
Suddenly, I can't contain it any longer. I crack up, hard. "Hahaha, just kidding. I'm going to kick your ass."
"You could never understand such ambitions...so now, fall into sleep, Reidar!"
He suddenly delivers a crushing blow to my solar plexus, doubling me up. I gasp as the wind is knocked out of me. Where did the blathering old weakling suddenly go?! Just then, I narrowly avoid a hammer fist raining down and I respond with a fierce elbow to his neck. He takes it without so much as flinching, and then roundhouses me in the head. I see stars, but not enough to prevent me from headbutting him in the jaw. It's like smashing my head against a brick wall. He just laughs it off and grabs me by the throat, holding on with a vice-grip. I can slowly feel the life escaping me.
"FATHER, NO!" Loretta wails as she runs up and jumps on his back. "Stay out of this, Loretta!" he roars, shaking her off. That's all the distraction I need. Right as she's practically thrown away from him, I gather all of the energy I can muster for a devastating Black Tiger Claw double-hand strike to his chest, temporarily halting his heart beat. It was a technique that had taken me years to master in the mountains of Thailand. Jericho's eyes bug out in shock as he stumbles back, tripping over his own feet and landing right in the crackling fireplace.
"ARGGHHHHH!" he screams as he jumps out, the flames quickly spreading over the length of his body. In mere seconds, he's a roaring inferno.
"You're fired," I say with a straight face as I side-kick him through a glass sliding door. He smashes through and tumbles over the edge of the balcony, landing with a thud 100 feet onto the unforgiving ground below, a smoldering heap of defeat.

Needless to say, I got the hell out of there after that. I didn't even see Loretta as I was gathering my art supplies to leave. The next day at school was a little awkward, though. She broke up with me for lighting her dad on fire. I didn't even know we were dating in the first place to be broken up.