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What's not pushy?
dpl313
post Mar 3 2009, 01:45 AM
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I've been dating this girl off and on for a year. In between that time she's been chasing this other guy for 2 years. She doesn't open up to me as much as I wish she would. A few hours ago she finally opened up to me. We had the most genuine conversation between us. We both got to get a lot off our chest. This where you would think the happy ending starts to come, but of course life doesn't work like that.

She tells me she got with that guy she was chasing, but she wants to be friends. She told me she doesn't want to make me the guy she tells her problems too either. But my heart and my pride won't let me be friends with her, because just friendship with her is like a slap in the face to me. She gave me the it's other girls out there speech. I asked her why did she choose him over me? She told me I was somewhat pushy about dating her, and she said if she told me she didn't think I would listen if she told me that before.

I was stunned when she said that, because I have made good effort to be a better listener. But what kills me the most is that I feel in my heart I was not being pushy whatsoever. So.. what is it that a guy does that makes girls thinks guys are being pushy?
 
 
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libertie
post Mar 3 2009, 04:52 PM
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You are fully entitled to be upset and feel like you were wronged. If she doesn't see that, it's her problem and not yours. It sounds like she kept you around in case things didn't work out with this other guy, and when they did, she didn't know how to tell you so she tried to be delicate and gave you the "let's just be friends" talk. You have every right to say no to her and let her figure out for herself what she's losing. I'd pull back, as hard as it is, let her talk to you first from now on if she wants to, and see if she's being genuine in really wanting to be friends. If not, then she's not the kind of person you want to be around anyway.

Also, if she tries to come to you with her guy issues, tell her to f*ck off. That's so disrespectful it's not even funny, she should in no way expect that from you. If she just wants you there when she needs you, she doesn't really want to be your friend.
 

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