He cheated.., please help me out Options

[CO0KiE]

Hey, my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 15 months. (One year and three months in February) But just a few days ago (Sunday) I found out that he had been cheating on me FOR TEN MONTHS! TEN! Those months, those times that we spent together, everything, he was sharing. He was with another girl. I knew who she was. He told me that he didn't even like her back then. And I asked him again, why would he do that? Why? Especially if he wasn't even attracted to her? And he said he didn't know how he felt towards her, and he didn't want to tell me. He doesn't want me to leave. I think I'm giving him a second chance. But I don't trust him at all anymore. I just... my heart hurts so bad. I have never been betrayed like this before. By my very best friend... He keeps saying that heloves me, but... you don't do this to someone you love. he said that it just happened, and frankly, i don't think anything "just happens". He said he didn't even want it. FOR TEN MONTHS! HE DIDN'T WANT IT ?! BUT HE NEVER LEFT HER! That stupid bitch knew that I was his girlfriend too. They used to always hang out, and it made me unconfortable, so he said he'd stop hanging with her so much, but little did I know, he would still go and see her. We started going out November 2007, and on January 9, my birthday we told each other we love each other. He met her in December 2007. And in January, the beginning of the month or so, he started to see her as well. THAT'S NOT LOVE! YOU DON'T LOVE SOMEONE and hurt them like this. He tore my heart out... He knows he doesn't deserve a second chance, but he still wants one. He needs me. I need him. But I'm just afraid of the pain again. Nothing's the same anymore. I don't wear anything he ever got me. I don't want to see the pictures of the two of us. I'm so suspicious of him. I've lost my appetite. I haven't eaten at all for two days now. He said he doesn't know why he started to see her, he was "curious".

Someone please talk to me. It just doesn't make sense. He broken everything... He lied from the beginning...

[ForgetThePast]

Cookie, I am going through the same thing. I dated my boyfriend for two years, long distance seeing each other on every break and holiday (he lives in the same city/state as my family), I was planning to move there next month to be with him. We were planning on getting married, he bought me a ring, having kids, buy a home. We had our cells phones on one bill, that is how I caught him cheating. The first time was October 2008. I received the phone bill and found out he was talking to all these girls all hours of the day/night. I broke-up with him, he cried, begging and pleading and calling and calling: please give me another chance, Im sorry, I love you, I screwed up, I made a mistake. I took him back, two weeks later, caught him again making plans with a girl to hook up for the weekend. I broke-up with him again,two days before my Thanksgiving visit. He waited three hours outside my mom's house waiting for me to arrive again begging, pleading, crying. And because I LOVED HIM, I took him back and now eight weeks later we are back to square one, October 2008 all over again. Each time my heart was ripped out, my world was turned inside out, I could not eat, sleep, or function. Before each incident my gut feeling alarm was going off and I would ask him whats going on, what's wrong and each time he would assure me everything was fine. Your instincts are always RIGHT, follow them regardless of proof. This time, I cancelled his phone, changed my number, halted all plans for a move. My heart can't take it anymore. What I discovered is that a person who cheats is insecure and selfish. His inability to remain faithfull had nothing to do with me, I am beautiful, I am smart, I am great in bed, he has unresolved issues within himself. True love is selfless. Real love is not feelings or things, real love is a decision to commit your life in its entirety as a selfless act to another person. Cookie, you can go back and give him a chance to redeem himself but be prepared for a possible repeat and you need to ask yourself do you want to go through this all over again. Only you can decide for yourself the course of action to take. Until he resolves his underlying issues why he cheated, the love he offers will lead you down a path of destruction and death. In this instance, I would advise to follow your head and not your heart. I'm on day 11 and my ex-called begging and pleading, I love you, I can't live without you, you are all I want, you are all I need blah, blah, blah, I decided, I want no part of what he has to offer. I deserve better and I will have better.