He cheated.., please help me out Options

[CO0KiE]

Hey, my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 15 months. (One year and three months in February) But just a few days ago (Sunday) I found out that he had been cheating on me FOR TEN MONTHS! TEN! Those months, those times that we spent together, everything, he was sharing. He was with another girl. I knew who she was. He told me that he didn't even like her back then. And I asked him again, why would he do that? Why? Especially if he wasn't even attracted to her? And he said he didn't know how he felt towards her, and he didn't want to tell me. He doesn't want me to leave. I think I'm giving him a second chance. But I don't trust him at all anymore. I just... my heart hurts so bad. I have never been betrayed like this before. By my very best friend... He keeps saying that heloves me, but... you don't do this to someone you love. he said that it just happened, and frankly, i don't think anything "just happens". He said he didn't even want it. FOR TEN MONTHS! HE DIDN'T WANT IT ?! BUT HE NEVER LEFT HER! That stupid bitch knew that I was his girlfriend too. They used to always hang out, and it made me unconfortable, so he said he'd stop hanging with her so much, but little did I know, he would still go and see her. We started going out November 2007, and on January 9, my birthday we told each other we love each other. He met her in December 2007. And in January, the beginning of the month or so, he started to see her as well. THAT'S NOT LOVE! YOU DON'T LOVE SOMEONE and hurt them like this. He tore my heart out... He knows he doesn't deserve a second chance, but he still wants one. He needs me. I need him. But I'm just afraid of the pain again. Nothing's the same anymore. I don't wear anything he ever got me. I don't want to see the pictures of the two of us. I'm so suspicious of him. I've lost my appetite. I haven't eaten at all for two days now. He said he doesn't know why he started to see her, he was "curious".

Someone please talk to me. It just doesn't make sense. He broken everything... He lied from the beginning...

[Ekay]

You know if you do decide to go with that route, it's gonna be arduous and long. You basically have to start letting your guard down again and perhaps give him another chance to hurt you again.

Trust is also really very hard to gain back. Change is possible but, change is also hard to come by. I don't want to sound like a pessimist, although, I probably do. I'm just trying to real. The question is whether or not you can let your guard down again for somebody that essentially f*cked you over. Think it through before anything else because after all, it is you who makes the decision in the end. Not your friend, not him, not your parents but, you. Whatever your decision, make sure it reflects your thoughts and emotions; overall, the real you.

[CO0KiE]

You know if you do decide to go with that route, it's gonna be arduous and long. You basically have to start letting your guard down again and perhaps give him another chance to hurt you again.

Trust is also really very hard to gain back. Change is possible but, change is also hard to come by. I don't want to sound like a pessimist, although, I probably do. I'm just trying to real. The question is whether or not you can let your guard down again for somebody that essentially f*cked you over. Think it through before anything else because after all, it is you who makes the decision in the end. Not your friend, not him, not your parents but, you. Whatever your decision, make sure it reflects your thoughts and emotions; overall, the real you.

I don't know if I'll be able to let my guard down completely anymore. But I know that he's going to try and gain my trust back, little by little. I know he loves me. I just don't understand what went through his head, why would he do this to me. The mistake he made shouldn't have been what he need to realize that he f*cked up. But.. I'm giving him another chance. And he knows everything.. Although I'm giving him another chance, I think... I don't know. I can't forgive him. Not yet.
He knows that I won't trust him for a long time. He knows nothing is ever going to be the same again because of his mess. And he knows that I'm different now because of what he did to me. He is willing to wait it out and be patient with me and he knows that he's the cause of everything...