He cheated.., please help me out Options

[CO0KiE]

Hey, my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 15 months. (One year and three months in February) But just a few days ago (Sunday) I found out that he had been cheating on me FOR TEN MONTHS! TEN! Those months, those times that we spent together, everything, he was sharing. He was with another girl. I knew who she was. He told me that he didn't even like her back then. And I asked him again, why would he do that? Why? Especially if he wasn't even attracted to her? And he said he didn't know how he felt towards her, and he didn't want to tell me. He doesn't want me to leave. I think I'm giving him a second chance. But I don't trust him at all anymore. I just... my heart hurts so bad. I have never been betrayed like this before. By my very best friend... He keeps saying that heloves me, but... you don't do this to someone you love. he said that it just happened, and frankly, i don't think anything "just happens". He said he didn't even want it. FOR TEN MONTHS! HE DIDN'T WANT IT ?! BUT HE NEVER LEFT HER! That stupid bitch knew that I was his girlfriend too. They used to always hang out, and it made me unconfortable, so he said he'd stop hanging with her so much, but little did I know, he would still go and see her. We started going out November 2007, and on January 9, my birthday we told each other we love each other. He met her in December 2007. And in January, the beginning of the month or so, he started to see her as well. THAT'S NOT LOVE! YOU DON'T LOVE SOMEONE and hurt them like this. He tore my heart out... He knows he doesn't deserve a second chance, but he still wants one. He needs me. I need him. But I'm just afraid of the pain again. Nothing's the same anymore. I don't wear anything he ever got me. I don't want to see the pictures of the two of us. I'm so suspicious of him. I've lost my appetite. I haven't eaten at all for two days now. He said he doesn't know why he started to see her, he was "curious".

Someone please talk to me. It just doesn't make sense. He broken everything... He lied from the beginning...

[espressive]

He needs me. I need him.

You don't need anybody that causes you pain.

But I'm just afraid of the pain again. Nothing's the same anymore. I don't wear anything he ever got me. I don't want to see the pictures of the two of us. I'm so suspicious of him.

Someone please talk to me. It just doesn't make sense. He broken everything... He lied from the beginning...

You have said everything yourself.

If you're looking for reassurance from me, that's not what you're going to get. It sounds like you know what you should do, but you just don't want to do it. The fear of 'pain' is holding you back. But in reality, there's going to be pain whether you break up with him nor or not. It's inevitable. I guess some things are easier said than done huh? But think about this - how can you be in a relationship with somebody you can't trust anymore? that you're suspicious of? that lied to you? When you lose such a fundamental basis of any relationship, it's hard to build anything on it. If you have the heart to forgive him and give him a second chance, it'll always be something that will linger in the back of your head. You will always be suspicious of his actions. I really think you're better off without him; you're right - you DON'T do this to somebody you love... especially since he did this repeatedly over a span of 10 months. I'm really sorry that this happened, but try to keep your head up? Clear your mind. Spend time with friends. Do things you love. Do what you think is the best decision for you. Most importantly - SMILE :)

[CO0KiE]

You don't need anybody that causes you pain.

You have said everything yourself.

If you're looking for reassurance from me, that's not what you're going to get. It sounds like you know what you should do, but you just don't want to do it. I guess it's easier said than done huh? But think about this - how can you be in a relationship with somebody you can't trust anymore? that you're suspicious of? that lied to you? When you lose such a fundamental basis of any relationship, it's hard to build anything on it. If you have the heart to forgive him and give him a second chance, it'll always be something that will linger in the back of your head. You will always be suspicious of his actions. I really think you're better off without him; you're right - you DON'T do this to somebody you love... especially since he did this repeatedly over a span of 10 months. I'm really sorry that this happened, but try to keep your head up? Clear your mind. Spend time with friends. Do things you love. Do what you think is the best decision for you. Most importantly - SMILE :)

thanks.. Yeah, it's easier said than done. Actually, I was going to break up with him last night. But a close friend of mine talked some sense into me. She said that she knows that we love each other, and I'll regret it if I do. She said she can tell how much he loves me, how he knows he's wrong, and how he most likely will not repeat the same mistake again. Am I a fool to keep him? I don't forgive him. I can't. And I can't trust him. But he says he'll prove to me that he loves me, and he'll do everything he can to earn my trust back. And you're right, it'll never be the same.. I'm always going to have that suspision linger in the back of my mind...

*sigh*
Am I wrong?

[espressive]

She said that she knows that we love each other, and I'll regret it if I do. She said she can tell how much he loves me, how he knows he's wrong, and how he most likely will not repeat the same mistake again. I don't forgive him. I can't. And I can't trust him. But he says he'll prove to me that he loves me, and he'll do everything he can to earn my trust back.

But sometimes, just "loving" somebody isn't enough to make a relationship work... especially since his definition of love is so twisted and warped.