I'm 19 and in college. My parents still don't let me see my boyfriend without one of my little sisters., What do I do? Options

[TearsOfAPhoenix]

As I stated above I'm 19 years old and in college, away at college as a matter a fact. I'm attending Duke now and about to finish my first semester. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now, on and off. We didn't try the long distance thing at first, but ended up going back to each other and were very happy and excited about spending time together during Thanksgiving break.

My parents are very traditional Hispanic parents and my boyfriend is Caucasian so it doesn't really help any there. My mother hates him because they've caught me lying to see him (like saying I was going to work, when I was really going to spend the day with him for his birthday). My father doesn't seem to hate him, just dislikes him because he's a boy and well "What do all guys want from girls?".

So as a result of this, they make sure that I have to take one of my little sisters on dates with me. One of them is 9 and the other 17. Of course, I mind and he minds that this has to happen, but when I take my 17 year old sister we usually drop her off with a friend or her boyfriend so we can have some alone time. But, this Thanksgiving break that didn't go as planned and she had to stay with us through the entire date. We were both very frustrated and wanted to just spend some one on one time together after enduring the long distance, but that wasn't possible. He fought through it and granted me the promise of going to a quincenera with me and my family. I was so excited that they were finally going to be able to get to know him and see a good side of him. But, of course, my mom denied him the opportunity of coming and said that she didn't want me bringing any boyfriend to family events unless I'm going to marry them.

When I told him this that was it for him. He couldn't handle being treated like this. Countless times he tried to tell me that the best thing to do was to leave my house and that I was welcome to stay with him and his family, but I have to think of my college education, which my parents are helping me with the very little that they can and the rest I'm paying with scholarships. My mother didn't even want me to leave Houston for college, but I went to Duke anyway, but that's another problem.

So what should I do? My boyfriend is tired of dealing with my parents after a year and a half, but we love each other very much. I know that the distance may tear us apart, but I'd prefer that to happen in due time and not let my parents tear us apart.

[Insurmountable]

I agree with your boyfriend, you need to leave home and get a life of your own. Your parents are to over protective and I think its a bit ridiculous of what they are doing and your 19.

I think you really need to ask yourself whether you really want to be in a relationship with this guy and if you could ever see yourself marrying him in the future. If you answer yes to these questions then I really think you need to move out and even though your parents are helping with college and you respect them. I think between loans and scholarships you can pay for college, and then as for respect, they should respect you as well. Your a adult now and need to be treated like one.


Also as long as your not quiting school to be with him, I'm just not seeing a problem here with moving out and disconnecting yourself from your family for a while. *shrug, do keep in mind that my family isn't close at all and I'm moving out the week that I turn 18, or even earlier than that.

good luck!

[hypnotique]

I agree with your boyfriend, you need to leave home and get a life of your own. Your parents are to over protective and I think its a bit ridiculous of what they are doing and your 19.

I think you really need to ask yourself whether you really want to be in a relationship with this guy and if you could ever see yourself marrying him in the future. If you answer yes to these questions then I really think you need to move out and even though your parents are helping with college and you respect them. I think between loans and scholarships you can pay for college, and then as for respect, they should respect you as well. Your a adult now and need to be treated like one.
Also as long as your not quiting school to be with him, I'm just not seeing a problem here with moving out and disconnecting yourself from your family for a while. *shrug, do keep in mind that my family isn't close at all and I'm moving out the week that I turn 18, or even earlier than that.

good luck!

Hai holly.

Any hoo I agree with this.Im latina and Bisexual who strictly dates white lol so I mean I think im slowly killing my family inside.
You need to tell them to kiss your ass and do your own thing its not fair to your boyfriend that your parents are completly closedminded s**cs if your parents continue to act this way this will sabotage your future relationships because NO MAN will ever deal with this drama.Its just not worth it.You need to leave the nest wheather your parents like it or not.


Besides girl I would get up all on those minority scholarships and the ones designed for women.They have plenty of them out there and thats how i am getting through school without my parents.You can make this work but you have to balance out thats right and whats wrong.