Honestly,what do you think, Song i'm currently writing Options

[NismoYo]

I'm writing this song, and hoping some singer out there would like it and record it. but before I expose it to any artist, i would like to get some opinion on it..be honest.. its incomplete..

My Memories Ghost

Remember, how we held each other
With the lights on low (chop and screw)
Now its over, I'm holding myself together
While the Temperature turns Firo (Spanish for cold)
the Pictures, start flipping, all of a sudden
I hear you talking out of my ear
Damn!, am I going insane
Or I see You by my door
looking back at me (back at me)
With them eyes that I use to adore

can't I let go, of what I use to hold
Move on , the time doesn't stops for my heart
Why your so cold, you left these memories to haunts my soul
Your gone, but it feels like we're never part

[emberfly]

the song's grammar is horrible :-) .. or the spelling.. however you want to look at it

edit//

I guess grammar is unimportant with artistic freedom and all *sigh.*