How Could One Justify Adultery?, Or is it Unforgivable? Options

[fameONE]

Marriage is serious business!

Well, it should be viewed that way, at least. How could one justify cheating on their spouse? What situation could possibly permit such an act as 'excusable?' On the other hand, depending on the situation, is it possible for a third party to find some sense of 'right' by knowingly getting involved with a married person?

I'd like to hear some responses. It seems like a vague question now, but I'll go into detail a bit more pending the responses I get.

[dustbunny]

I wouldn't say it's a justification, but at least a reason for why adultery may occur in some cases, is simply the dying off of emotions/feelings. People change, feelings change, and though it may not have been the best choice circumstantially for someone to go off and find someone else before first severing relations with the marital spouse, people should not be blamed simply for no longer having feelings for a person.

also, by not just directly calling for a divorce before going off to to rendezvous with someone more emotionally compatible, I think that though the person may not be INFATUATED AND SUPER IN LOVE ANYMO, that person still cares about the marital spouse. thus, they cannot bring themselves to outright end the marriage and/or hurt the opposite party. just because someone isn't in love with someone, does not mean they cannot care about the other person.

(I guess in this case this would be emotional adultery)


As for physical adultery, hey it happens. Someone's needs aren't taken care of and for lack of better judgment decide to NOT TALK ABOUT with their marital spouse. this requires a serious reason that I can only attribute hypothetically to the fact that maybe some people are just in a fundamentally flawed relationship with people they cannot communicate with.

(this is an emotionally sound? (though not really) and physically unsatisfying relationship)

[espressive]

I wouldn't say it's a justification, but at least a reason for why adultery may occur in some cases, is simply the dying off of emotions/feelings. People change, feelings change, and though it may not have been the best choice circumstantially for someone to go off and find someone else before first severing relations with the marital spouse, people should not be blamed simply for no longer having feelings for a person

true. but then why does that person not do/say something about the dying feelings? why choose to continue leading the other on, as if nothing was wrong? it's not okay to pretend and lie about your emotions to yourself and your spouse. there is obviously something wrong in the relationship, and the problem should've been addressed between you & your spouse, NOT you & somebody else. so although i don't think that people should be blamed for dying emotions for another person, i do think it's to blame when the adulterer handles the situation in that fashion. it's irresponsible to cheat just because there may be problems in the marriage. if you truly don't feel like the marriage is working out - end it - don't sneak around. it's not fair to your spouse.

[dustbunny]

true. but then why does that person not do/say something about the dying feelings?

by not just directly calling for a divorce before going off to to rendezvous with someone more emotionally compatible, I think that though the person may not be INFATUATED AND SUPER IN LOVE ANYMO, that person still cares about the marital spouse. thus, they cannot bring themselves to outright end the marriage and/or hurt the opposite party. just because someone isn't in love with someone, does not mean they cannot care about the other person.

Someone's needs aren't taken care of and for lack of better judgment decide to NOT TALK ABOUT with their marital spouse. this requires a serious reason that I can only attribute hypothetically to the fact that maybe some people are just in a fundamentally flawed relationship with people they cannot communicate with.

is it right? I don't think so. but is it understandable? in my opinion, yes. not all people are cold-hearted pigs and after 20 years of marriage are able to come out and say that they no longer love their spouse. it takes an extremely strong person to be able to admit something like that to a spouse, and the truth of the matter is most people don't have that sort of courage.