This Saturday Options

[MissFits]

I have to go to my grammas house so she can tell everyone she's dying.

I'm really scared, and when things scare I tend to not face them. I know I have to go, but I'm the kind of person that will just dip out and by the time people notice I'm already home.

What do you do when you are scared to face something?

[MissFits]

I went today, and I didn't dip out or freak out at all.
It went a lot better than I expected.

She just told us that her blood pressure is crazy. It spikes and drops very low all the time. Her doctor has tried all kinds of medication for over a year but none of it has helped her. She said that her doctor said she is at a very high risk for a stroke.
She is also in the early stages of Alzheimers, which is terribly lame. I used to volunteer at an Alzheimers clinic near my house and it broke my heart all the time to talk to these people who didn't remember their families, their spouses, or friends. Sometimes they didn't even know who they were. It's a hard thing to watch someone you care about go through that, but now that I think about it she has been forgetting a lot lately. Like, the last time I went to see her she asked me how school was going and I haven't been in school for almost 2 years.

I know I would be there for her, but... it's just really hard, I guess. I just wish she were okay. The whole time she just kept saying "it's God's plan for me". That's not a very fair plan in my opinion. My gramma is an AMAZING woman who would help anyone in anyway they needed, why would God plan such a terrible fate for her?