too sexual? jealousy? ex gf? wtf?!, a jumble of mixed feelings, basically Options

[aphrodisia]

I wish I could explain everything in a sentence, but I can't... so please bear with me as I try to explain my mixed feelings - I'm not very good at that. I've been dating my boyfriend (we're both 17) for 5 months now, and lately, I've just been thinking (that tends to get me in trouble) about some stuff and it's just really starting to bother me. Please give me your honest opinions? Thanks!

So I've been in one other serious relationship prior to this one, so I don't really know if this is like 'normal' or whatever. Lately, I just feel like all he wants is to get some (we've only done oral). Every time we're hanging out and alone, we end up at third base pretty much. I'm not blaming it entirely on him cause heck I enjoy a good time once in a while too, but it's just that it has consistently happened for the last few months. And he's really like not a perverted guy; I mean, all our friends say I'm more perverted than he is. haha! So my question - Is this normal to be doing sexual stuff that often? I guess I'm so worried cause I was pretty much used as booty in a past relationship. The guy that I thought I knew turned out to be a huge jerk and just used me. That was like my first relationship too, so it was just a hard hit and I guess it has stuck with me. Cause although I do enjoy the sexual side, I want a relationship to be an emotional connection too.. and I feel that if I lose that emotional connection, I'll be back to square one like in my past relationship where I was just being used. Frankly, it's degrading and hurtful. I just don't want to go through that again.

Another thing that bothers me is his ex. Don't get me wrong - she is the sweetest, nicest person ever and she would NEVER do anything to hurt me. Seriously, she's a peach. But gosh, does she have to be so darn pretty? Haha, well that's not the real problem. I don't have a problem with HER per se, more so with my boyfriend. I know that that still hang out alone and they talk to eachother everyday practically (which is great that they're still best friends!), but I think that he still kinda likes her. They started dating end of freshmen year to middle of sophomore year but they were on-off-on-off. Both times, she broke up with him. So I know it's been like year since they've dated, but I just can't help feeling jealous cause they are so comfortable with eachother and my boyfriend is always the one that initiates contact with her. I don't think he's purposely trying to make me jealous (cause that would be a bitch move!) Honestly, I'm normally not a jealous person and I know that I don't have very good reason for why I think he still likes her, but you know when you just have that gut feeling? Yeah, I have that gut feeling just by the way he acts, looks and talks about her. So question - Do you think I'm just being paranoid?

I know people are going to tell me to talk to him, but frankly, I don't really want to because I'll just feel stupid... like some jealous, cynical, insecure girlfriend with serious trust issues (which is pretty accurate as far as this post goes but regardless). This may all sound stupid after a few hours and I may feel like a bozo after I read this again, but I've been up thinking about it (I tend to overthink things and blow it out of proportion which is ANOTHER reason why I don't want to talk to him about it) and I just felt the need to write about it. It's my remedy for coping. This made me feel better... somewhat.

[queen]

a lot of girls instinctively know when a guy likes a girl. it's 'cause we're pretty good at recognizing when a guy is interested in us. if you feel he's exerting those same signals to his ex, there's a good percentage you're right.

even if he doesn't want a relationship with her anymore, there are most likely still (romantic) feelings that remain, judging from your description of the closeness of their relationship.

maybe you could talk to him about your insecurities.