Stuck in the Past, still in love with my ex Options

[Piccola]

Hi,

I would like to share with you the things I`m passing through at the moment. I'm married and I have even a son. My husband really loves me and if he could he would even get the moon if I ask for it. Where is the problem? I`m not happy. I'm stucked in the past. I met him 8 years ago, I loved him from the first day i saw him . We became good friends. Best Friends, I used to tell him everything, he knew me inside out. We used to go out together, share anything. He was my soulmate. Both knew we were in love but none of us ever said that we were.... Maybe because if we had said that we loved each other, the spell would have been broken. It was very stupid not to confess our feelings and to remain bestfrieds for ever. After 2 years in this situation I met my husband. We started a relationship which was very different from that I had with Drew.Drew said he was very happy for me and that he hope to find love as well. I thought I love my husband, and I do love him but I am not in love with him as I was with Drew. After 3 months we were together one day Drew told me he was in love with me and that he was afraid of losing me. I cried, I didn`t know what to do, I still loved Drew, but couldn`t leave my husband... at that time I thought the best thing was to go on with my husband and try to forget Drew. That was the last time I saw Drew. Years passed and I got married, but my love for Drew never left me. He has a girlfried but still ask for me whenever he meets my friends. Now about 3 months ago we found each other on line. We chatted and sent emails, and found out that although 6 years have passed we are still in love and we will always be. I'm desperate.. I don`t know what to do.
Please help

Thanks
Piccola

[Spirited Away]

You say you are unhappy, but it is an illusion created by your persistent desire to be with Drew. Why should a woman married to a good man who is a wonderful husband and father be unhappy? You should be happier than MOST OF US.

Obviously, you focus on the past, thus you are stuck in it. However, it looks like you're also letting the past catch up to you as you are actually talking to Drew about your love for each other. In essence, you are cheating on your husband. Do you not feel bad about it? And in retrospect, if you loved Drew and he loved you but got married anyway, you cheated your husband's feelings as well as your own AND Drew's.

Look at it this way: you can't have the one you really want, so you went for 2nd best. And you know what they say: second place is just a first place loser. My sympathies go out to your husband.

Now, most people will say "don't leave your husband for the sake of your child", and in some cases, I will support that advice. I am so very lucky that my parents stuck by each other instead of divorce when they were at their worst (chasing each other with knives). However, seeing that you are actively involved with Drew behind your husband's back (tho online... whatnot), I suggest you get marriage counseling or divorce your husband. Your baby will be MORE confused if you stay with your husband but reaches out to another man. I wouldn't be surprised if he grow up to hate women since the one that his father loves and takes care of would treat him so wrongly.

Don't be that woman whom everyone calls a whore. Decide what you want today: divorce to be with the one you claim to love or stay with your husband and forget the other man. Cheat anyone, and you cheat yourself.

I am not purposely trying to be harsh, but I will never baby someone who is really considering leaving her family just like that. Having being cheated on myself and not knowing until one day he said "I loved you but I also found that I had feelings for (insert name here) and we've been seeing each other... I don't know what to do or how to tell you..." would make me cheer for the underdog.

If not for yourself, then for your son: be a good example of a strong woman who can make sound decisions and stick by them.