did i mess up? Options

[LizzieCupcakes]

im gonna try and not make this long because it is a long story with alot of details. first of all, I live in Arizona and he lives in Texas so its a long term relationship and we've been together nearly a year and 4 months.

it starts in december, i decided to do a shady thing and started hanging out with a guy i liked at the time while i was still with my boyfriend. even though i did not do anything physical with him and knew it was wrong considering me and him had a relationship with different people, i decided to end the fling for my boyfriends sake and his girlfriend. i felt guilty about the situation and decided to tell my boyfriend about it. of course he did not take it well and lost trust for me. considering we where miles apart and the other guy lived here and went to school with me, he didnt have trust for me at all when i went out.

skipping 5 months later to may of this year,things have been getting rocky between me and boyfriend because of the situation that happened in december. i began to get distant from him because my grades began to slip and i needed to catch up but he didnt understand why i wasnt talking to him that much. we both got frustrated and i ended things, we tried being friends but i missed him more the days grew and i begged him to get back together but he always said no. its finally june and i cant be friends with him because i want to be with him and cant be friends with someone i love more then a friend. today he finally has admitted to finding someone else and that just broke me down and i decided not to speak to him anymore because i cant see him with someone else and i need time to forget my feelings for him to be friends with him again but he begged me to be friends with him and i told him no and he decided to remind me of what i did in december and told me thats what led him to do that.

is it fair that he wont give me a fair chance even though i had feelings for another guy that i never did anything physical with?

or

is it wrong on my part to not be friends with him even though he has another girl in his life

plz help me

[aaayotiffany]

if there's no trust in a relationship, there is no relationship. you guys would be just having each other around for comfort needs. its not healthy at all.

i actually ended a relationship of mine because of trust. because he didn't trust me, at all, plus some ridiculous accusations along with that. so this might actually be good for you. because its working well for me.

if you don't want to be friends, thats your decision because remember you have to be strong for yourself. don't let him think that you can't live/be without him. but i do understand it being hard coping with the fact that he has someone else. honestly, the best thing to do would be time from him. a lot of time.