VAGINA!, etc Options

[Melissa]

favorite funny quotes!

- Mister, you gotta help me. My wife-She's out back. She's having a baby.
- She's having a what?
- A baby!
- She's having a baby?
- And it's halfway out! I can see the head!...I need your jacket.
- Why?
- For her... amniotic sac! Her amniotic fluid is gushing out.
- Gushing?
-The jacket! The jacket! Give me the jacket! And your pants.
- My pants?
-Your pants! Yeah, for her, you know, her "placentia"...you know, and her labia and cervical--Mucus gushing-- It's gushing!! It's just a hole and--Quick! The pants. And the hat.
- Why? Why my hat?
- For her...VAGINA

[roxxtar]

The Office quotes:

Dwight Schrute: Question, is there fire wood on the island?
Jim Halpert: I guess.
Dwight Schrute: Then I would bring an ax, no books.<b>
Jim Halpert: It has to be a book Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Fine, Physician's Desk Reference-
Jim Halpert: Nice, smart.
Dwight Schrute: ...hollowed out, inside-waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Question, did my shoes come off in the plane crash?

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Dwight Schrute: Michael, what's wrong?
Michael Scott: Everything is wrong, Dwight. The stress of my modern office has made me depressed.
Dwight Schrute: Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling, 'bummed down?'
Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut!

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Michael Scott: WHAM! His capa is detated from his head!