How to be manly |
 May 11 2008, 01:31 AM
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 Vae Victis  Group: Official Member Posts: 1,416 Joined: Sep 2006 Member No: 460,227  |
Hello, noodle kegs. After a mountain of requests on how to be manly like me, I've finally decided to oblige you in revealing some of my secrets.
Here's my top-secret hair styling regimen. These suave cuts will make the ladies swarm over you like fire ants on a newborn baby. 1. Locate barren spot of dry dirt. 2. Draw in sacrificial circle with stick. 3. Sacrifice goat. 4. Apply blood to face in "X" formation, each side coming from brow to jawline. 5. Hold carcass over head and chant Satanic ritual. 6. Administer hair gel. Note: step 6 is optional. |
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May 23 2008, 05:42 AM
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Vae Victis Group: Official Member Posts: 1,416 Joined: Sep 2006 Member No: 460,227 |
I just got a new batch of letters in. I will be addressing them in my new advice column, Ask Reidar.
Our first letter comes from Mike in Michigan. Mike writes: Dear Reidar, I tried following the advice you gave me on asking girls out, and I got arrested. What did I do wrong? Mike Schmoe, Cell #1402 Wayne County, MI Make sure you don't forget to wear pants when approaching a female. This is a common mistake. Our next letter comes from Jaime in California. Jaime writes: Dear Reidar, I want to be manly with rippling pecs, ham-sized fists, and a coy scowl, like you! Unfortunately, I am a girl. Any advice? Jaime Muray San Jose, CA You should have thought of that before you were born a girl. Our final letter arrives from Jerry in Vermont. Dear Reidar, You are such an inspiration. I was wondering if you could show up for my son's birthday party. He would be ecstatic to see you in person. Little Jimmy is a huge fan of yours and looks up to you as a role-model. You see, Jimmy is very sick and doesn't have much time left to live. As a grieving parent, I feel helpless - but looking at you gives our family strength and courage. And I just know that this is one appearance that would absolutely make his day. If you have time in your schedule, could you please fly down here and pay Little Jimmy a visit? Jerry Berg Burlington, VT No. Well, that's all for this week. Great letters, everybody! Keep those pencils moving, and I'll see you next time. |
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Posts in this topic
Reidar How to be manly May 11 2008, 01:31 AM
doughnut sacrifice goat?
why would you want to do that? May 11 2008, 01:46 AM doiink ^ to arrange their intestines and entrails in beau... May 11 2008, 01:52 AM Reidar No girls allowed.
Here's a typical day's ... May 11 2008, 01:53 AM doughnut your sort of a 'man' sounds somewhat like ... May 11 2008, 01:59 AM absinthe I`ve seen some pretty manly women before. May 11 2008, 02:07 AM
DoubleJ QUOTE(absinthe @ May 11 2008, 03:07 AM) I... May 11 2008, 02:02 PM ChangeofHeart where is the porn in this list? May 11 2008, 01:24 PM Reidar I use peanut butter.
QUOTE(ChangeofHeart @ M... May 11 2008, 03:33 PM aybaybay007 QUOTE(ChangeofHeart @ May 11 2008, 01:24 ... May 12 2008, 09:41 PM sparrowdust what kind of hair gel? May 11 2008, 03:02 PM Katalyzt this should be renamed "How to be an egocentr... May 11 2008, 04:27 PM Reidar QUOTE(Katalyzt @ May 11 2008, 04:27 PM) t... May 11 2008, 04:41 PM karmakiller QUOTE(Reidar @ May 11 2008, 04:41 PM) Let... May 11 2008, 06:44 PM JokeInsideJoke poor goat . why does it have to be a goat? cant i... May 11 2008, 04:33 PM Katalyzt Rejected... Try, slapped, kicked in the nuts, spra... May 11 2008, 04:46 PM The-March-Hare QUOTE(Reidar @ May 11 2008, 09:33 PM) Por... May 12 2008, 09:12 AM Kay- So like ya wanna marry me? May 12 2008, 09:46 PM Reidar Marriage isn't manly. These are manly:
> H... May 12 2008, 11:28 PM JokeInsideJoke QUOTE(Reidar @ May 13 2008, 12:28 AM) Mar... May 13 2008, 02:56 PM Reidar Manly sources.
Here is a transcript of a conver... May 13 2008, 03:43 PM Katalyzt uhh. ok... im pretty sure thats what grosses most ... May 13 2008, 07:05 PM Reidar God, you're back again? What happened this tim... May 13 2008, 07:14 PM IVIike hahahaha I loved that May 16 2008, 05:56 PM Katalyzt seems your "help" has now made all the w... May 16 2008, 06:24 PM JokeInsideJoke QUOTE(Katalyzt @ May 16 2008, 07:24 PM) s... May 17 2008, 04:16 PM Reidar That means they're in love with you. Keep it u... May 16 2008, 06:52 PM MissCuppyCake haha.
some people are taking this seriously??
i re... May 16 2008, 11:48 PM |
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