VAGINA!, etc Options

[Melissa]

favorite funny quotes!

- Mister, you gotta help me. My wife-She's out back. She's having a baby.
- She's having a what?
- A baby!
- She's having a baby?
- And it's halfway out! I can see the head!...I need your jacket.
- Why?
- For her... amniotic sac! Her amniotic fluid is gushing out.
- Gushing?
-The jacket! The jacket! Give me the jacket! And your pants.
- My pants?
-Your pants! Yeah, for her, you know, her "placentia"...you know, and her labia and cervical--Mucus gushing-- It's gushing!! It's just a hole and--Quick! The pants. And the hat.
- Why? Why my hat?
- For her...VAGINA

[freeridefight]

favorite funny quotes!

- Mister, you gotta help me. My wife-She's out back. She's having a baby.
- She's having a what?
- A baby!
- She's having a baby?
- And it's halfway out! I can see the head!...I need your jacket.
- Why?
- For her... amniotic sac! Her amniotic fluid is gushing out.
- Gushing?
-The jacket! The jacket! Give me the jacket! And your pants.
- My pants?
-Your pants! Yeah, for her, you know, her "placentia"...you know, and her labia and cervical--Mucus gushing-- It's gushing!! It's just a hole and--Quick! The pants. And the hat.
- Why? Why my hat?
- For her...VAGINA

I watched that movie the other night.



Stewie: [when he is trying to sip Lois' breast milk on the rug] Dear God, I've gotta get a hold of myself! Look at me, sucking pilfered milk off a dirty carpet! I'm as pathetic as the fat man when he tries to read.
[Cutaway to Lois on the couch with Peter, who has a book]
Peter: [points to a word] Hey, Lois, what's this word?
Lois: Evel.
Peter: [points to another word] And this one?
Lois: Knievel.
Peter: And this one?
Lois: Was.
Peter: And this one?
Lois: Born.
Peter: And this one?
Lois: In.
Peter: And this one?
Lois: Montana.
Peter: Huh. Oh, hey, Lois, did you know that Evel Knievel was born in Montana?


Chris: But Brian, the bible says gay marriage is an abomination.
Brian: Oh, don't give me that Young Republican crap, Chris. The bible also says a senior citizen built an ark and rounded up two of every animal.
[Cutaway to Noah's Ark]
Noah: [to an elephant and a penguin] Hey!
Elephant: Yeah?
Noah: What the hell is this? [camera pulls out to reveal an animal with a penguin's body and an elephant's head]
Elephant: Oh. You didn't really give any specific guidelines about mating.
Noah: Did you name it?
Elephant: What?
Noah: Did you name it?
Elephant: Uh, yeah, he's Paul.
Noah: Yeah? Well it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder for you now, because he's going the f**k overboard!

Mayor Adam West: If I enter Connecticut, I'm entering every state that Connecticut's ever been with.