I'm what i want to be Options

[dispn0ygonekrazy]

i was never a good writer
my words never made sense
until something hard hit me
and my life became dense

it was hard to see, hard to breathe
hard to see through my tears
it was hard to speak, hard to think
hard to see through these fears

sadness was the only thing
that could ever trigger my flow
pen and paper was all i need
staring at paper whiter than snow

i'd lose my train of thought
and i'd run out of rhymes
id' sit here and often think
of words that take up my time

trying to connect a rhyme scheme
and putting things in porportion
organizing a story to be told
and making something of my creation

in the end i always failed
but i'll never lose the fight
i'll grasp this pencil
and write until past midnight

in this life i only learned one thing
and it was a quote i once heard
"We only live once, make the best of it"
was his final words

i was never a good writer
but i finally gave it a shot
i put myself in my own shoes
and figured who i was not

i'm not a savior, i'm not god
i'm nothing what you think of me
i'm myself, and i'm a writer
i'm what i want to be

[superstitious]

You have a couple of really good stanzas in this:

sadness was the only thing
that could ever trigger my flow
pen and paper was all i need
staring at paper whiter than snow

And you know, that's how it happens for me as well at times. It's as if when I'm happy or contented, I find it difficult to write but when I'm upset or heartbroken, the words just flow out. It's a little sadistic.

i was never a good writer
but i finally gave it a shot
i put myself in my own shoes
and figured who i was not

This is an excellent section as well. "I put myself in my own shoes and figured who I was not" is a really fantastic way of expressing getting to know one's self, especially since you used wording that expressed the opposite occurring - figuring out who you are not, instead of who you are.