Storm, short poem |
 May 13 2008, 07:53 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Official Member Posts: 631 Joined: Feb 2008 Member No: 619,081  |
So I just sat down today and wrote this quick. Just kinda flowed. Let me know what you think I guess.
Rain falls and I hear the thunder Lightning strikes and it makes me wonder How long can this downpour last? Can we clear up the mess just as fast? Downpour on my heart, oh rain After this i wont be the same To see you, lightning strikes in my heart I see you and i know rain will start. Do you see the lightning strike? I hear the thunder, oh how they're alike They both begin when i see you And the rain on this pale face is nothing new. |
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May 13 2008, 10:19 PM
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#2
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 DDR \\ I'm Dee :) Group: Mentor Posts: 8,662 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 384,020 |
I like it. Did you intentionally make the last words rhyme or did they just come out that way? The rest of the poem doesn't have much assonance, which is why I ask.
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Posts in this topic
carolannexbh Storm May 13 2008, 07:53 PM
doiink ooh I liked that. The rhyme didn't seem forced... May 13 2008, 09:44 PM
superstitious Sad :[
I like that you stuck with weather eleme... May 14 2008, 05:52 PM |
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