Tung Needs Help, Regretting a Relationship Options

[Tung]

After I graduated high school, I was still in the middle of a relationship that was 8 month strong. It was the longest relationship I've ever been in. That summer I was getting ready to move away, and start off college, while my ex was becoming a senior in high school. Yes, she was one year younger than me. We decided that the whole long distance thing wouldn't work out, and it would be unfair for the both of use to continue the relationship knowing full well that once we got our ways, we would find other people. We broke up that summer after 9 long months. It was the greatest 9 months in my whole 19 years I've ever lived so far.

Even since that relationship, I've had two others. One lasting only a month, and another lasting 3 months. I was never quite as happy with these two relationships I had, as I was with the one I had during my senior year in high school. Lately, I been single for quite some time now, and I just feel depressed nowadays. I think about my relationship with my ex I had 2 years ago, and I wished we never broke up in the first place. I wished I had tried harder to make the long distance work. She was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I blew it. Sometimes it's really hard to find interests in other girls, when I go out, and the girls are like totally hitting on me, but I just ignore them. That's because I still have feelings for my high school ex.

I don't know what I should do here. I mean I haven't talk to her in 2 years, and I know for sure she's still single, and haven't dated anyone since we broke up. I know because I still check her facebook, and myspace and word of mouth from her friends. I need opinions and a little help here on how I should approach her and this situation. How do I tell her I want to be together again. I mean I'm afraid she might reject me, and not want me after these long two years.

I don't know. I just been really sad these past weeks, and regretting I ever made the decision to break up with her. I mean we both agree to break up that summer, but it was me who brought up the idea. She wanted to try to long distance for a while and see how it goes, but I never gave it a try. Sigh..any help would be great here.

[Just_Dream]

Woah Tung. Okay, here goes.

I think you should talk to her directly because I can tell by the way that you describe how you keep in touch with what's going on in her life, even if it's not directly from her (facebook is indirect, I tell you). I mean, she wanted to try the long distance thing, and if she hasn't dated anyone since you two broke up, maybe she's also still hung up on you. You care so much about her, since it's the "best 9 months" you've ever had, so you should show it to her.

Yes, there is a chance that she's going to reject you. But don't you think that it should be a risk that you're willing to take? By waiting, you're risking the chance that she still could be with you. Tell her what you've posted about her, in person. I'm sure that she would understand how you feel, but like I said, she MIGHT have moved on. But you need to move forward and tell her. Even if she rejects you, the fact that you told her lets you release your feelings. I know you probably feel really shitty for making that decision two years ago, but it's never to late to give it another chance.

Just remember to start talking to her again, but don't pressure her. Don't jump back into what you two had before -- just start talking to her again and tell her that you miss her. Girls love that. Yea you know there was a guy that liked me and even though I was in a relationship with Tony and that guy moved away, he actually IMed me one time and told me that he missed me. That actually made my heart skip a beat, knowing that someone still thinks of me, even though I thought he forgot about me already. I mean, it's not like I liked that guy, but its the though that counts. Even better if she actually tells you that she misses you too.

This can be done through IM, facebooking, even a call. If she's 1 year younger that means she's in college (freshman) now? Does she go to a college nearby? IDK, maybe set up a meeting, go to lunch together, etc. But don't straight out tell her that you've loved her all this time, as the first thing out of your mouth. Make her remember what an amazing guy you are, just by showing your friendly side, and then once the conversation gets deeper, tell her. This could all be happening within one meeting though.

Just make sure to tell her to hear you out fully -- don't let her cut in or cut you off. When telling your feelings, tell the whole story and that you really want a second chance and that you were an idiot because it took you two years (or however long) to realize how much she meant to you. Say some romantic things from your heart, even if it's cheesy. We girls don't care about cheesy-ness because we'll know it's from the heart. But like I said, don't pressure her too much until you can get her to FULLY HEAR YOU OUT. And it's okay to bring up the past -- the good times -- because it shows that not only do you remember, but that you cared enough to even mention them.

lmao this better not be a joke thread again like the last one because I actually took the time to type this out, obviously!

EDIT - and remember the whole "long distance" thing is a big commitment, so make sure you're not only willing, but that if things work out between you two, that you set up a way for you two to meet, make phone calls, etc. But it shouldn't be so bad since she's probably kind of close... right?