Really.. Lost Options

[dpl313]

So I've went out on a few dates recently with a couple of girls. The dates seem to go well, but when we talk about relationships and what not.. I get confused. Mainly because when I date it's for the hopes of getting into a serious relationship.

But I've been told by some girls different things like

- I don't make a good gf
- I'm not ready for commitment, because I don't want a jealous bf
- I just want friendships right now

So I listen to girls say those excuses, but at times I'll get a girl to ask me for advice about a guy while on the date. Most of the time it's simple questions like why won't the guy commit, etc. I've tried to make the effort to show that I want to be more than a friend, but things don't turn out well.

Most recently I have a female friend I've went out with more than any of my female friends. I like her a lot. At times she'll blow me off and at times she'll want to hangout. When we hangout there are times when I swear she shows signs of interest. I told her how I feel recently, and she put me in the friends category. She told me she got out of a relationship in August, and she was saying she was working out personal issues. I keep thinking what does that have to do with anything when it's pretty much April??

Like a dummy I woke up this morning and I had her on my mind. I called her and she was on her way to church. We talked briefly. You could tell I called at a bad time, but she was just giggling at some of the stuff I was saying. I really wanna be with her... but how do I get out of the friends category??

Also, my cousin has been observing my situation with dating. He keeps telling me I should just go out and get laid. He keeps saying I'm too young to want a serious relationship, and all I should be worried about is being out for the screw. He's 18 and I'm 21. At first I kept saying you're wrong. But I don't know anymore. Should I just be out for screwing chicks??

[Melissa]

Hm, this seems like the millionth time you've posted something like this.

When you're 21, you should definitely start looking for a longer, serious relationship. While a once in a while hook-up is okay, most people are starting to actually get into real relationships.

The thing is - I really think you're trying too hard. When you say 'date,' what do you mean? Because most girls go on dates to get past the friendship zone. Are you sure they know it's a date? Or do they think they're just hanging out with you as a friend when YOU think it's a date.

My advice is to stop thinking so hard about things and analyzing every girl's actions, stop asking them questions like what they look for in a guy or if they want someone who commits, and stop asking them if you would be good boyfriend material. Questions like that drive me away because it makes the guy seem desperate. Just chill out and let whatever happens happen.