The one Options

[olga63089]

Me and my current fiance have met in 9th grade when i was a freshmen and he wa sa grade above me. I just out of a relation ship ans we hit it off right away. He understood my beliefs and respected my wishes and really listened. I knew this guy is a keeper. Then i had to move which kind of put an end to things. Over the two years we kept in touch always maing plans to hang out spacially during summer, and then last year i moved back and desided to get a hold of him. Like i expected the feelings we had for each other were still there. We have been together now since aug. so it will be 7 month next week. There have been alot of ups and downs. The person i thought i knew 2 years ago was not the same and he got him self into bad association and did alot of drugs and sold weed. He kept all of that form me untill i got a call from a friend saying that he cheated on me while he was doing multiple amounts of drugs and alcohol. Since then i can truthfully say he has been clean and has no contact with his former life style. He sliped twice .We worked past it but i still feel like i cant always trust him. When he is out i worry about what he is doing and if he is telling the truth. I try to control my feelings but sometimes i cant help it. I know that gets him frustrated that i cant fully put the past behind us. On Jan.16 he proposed to me and i said yes, it was the happiest moment of my life . Then it seems like everything went down hill. My parents who are very religiouse ( jehovas witnesses) found out that we have been sexually active which is un exeptable before marrige. We are currently not allowed to see each other outside my house , which doesnt mean we havnt been. My parents have been preshuring me and him to get married sooner and harrassing him which is making him think if maybe we should wait longer then this summer. Suddenly he is saying he is young and never thought he would get married till he is 30. His parents got married young and had 2 kids before they did and now they are divorced so he was always brought up being told not to get married young. I feel hurt and lied to. I know i love him more then anything and i dont know why age matters if two people really love each other there will be no if its or buts. I dont know how to handdle this situation its too much all at once and my parents are not being much help. Its coming down to me not being able to eat home and pay for my own food. I could move out with my fiance but im afraid it would make things worse with my family and i wont be able to rely on them again. Also im afraid that my fiance will never make up his mind if i live with him without getting married, so he doesnt have to fully commit.
Please help!

[DeadlyKitten]

ive been in a relationship for almost 2 years...5 months in i told him i could see myself marrien him. since then everything went down hill. he started lying, started talking to a girl he obviously liked but denyed it, he was driffting away from me. i almost broke up with him twice since the lies and everything else. i'm still workig on trusting him again and he knows that. we had a talk a few months back about everythng and found out he's scared to go further with me cause he knows if it does end it will hurt us both. i told him that his sister got married although nothing is guarentied in life and just becuase theres a chance they may break up and get divorced that didnt keep her from saying yes to the man she loves. the past few months hav been getting better. he's more open with me, he's more happy, and he's almost the way he was when we first met.



so my advice to you is find out why he's scared and why you can TRULLY say you want to marrie him now. is it becuase he makes you feel secure, because he's a friend, and is it because your to scared to find someone else and get let down again. Alot of women make the mistake of getting married because there scared to get hurt by another guy or out of security. i'm sure you do love him but try writing down your reasons why and have him do the same. you guys might not even know each other anymore. and i know how scar that could be but it might be true. NEVER marrie someone you don't know. you'll hurt both you and him.