I am America! (And So Can You!), By Stephen Colbert Options

[Just_Dream]

Yes, he wrote a book. I bought it today, so I thought I'd post a few excerpts from it:

"Every Organization needs strong leadership. At home, my word is law. Whatever I say goes. For instance, recently my son wanted a laptop computer for his birthday. I said, "Go ask your mother." And he did. That's respect." (page 7)

"Can't tell if someone's making a joke if you can't see that person's face. Big reason I don't like books. No faces. Can't tell when they're being funny." (page 21)

"So to sum it up: American is a Christian nation. And as the old Negro says, 'This Train is bought for Glory, this Train.' Folks, America is riding the Jesus Train." (page 48)

"For the Ladies
Doing Do's
... If you go out to dinner, let him pay. You deserve it. Plus, offering to pay makes you look like you've got money to burn. Before you know it, he'll be hitting you up for loans and asking to borrow your car. I've done it dozens of times. And during the meal, order something that will get his attention, like a side of bacon for dessert. I can't think of anything sexier." (page 94)

I'm not telling you guys to go out and buy the book. But so far it's an interesting read. Stephen Colbert's hilarious. :]

For those who've bought or skimmed over the book - what did you think?


(and I searched for this topic, but to no avail. So if there is another one before this, MERGE THIS, FOOs!)

[miyashu]

I got this for Christmas and this is by far the most amusing book I've ever read.

"It's not seniors' fault that they're such whiners. There's someone else to blame. Franklin D. Roosevelt, who gave our country Social Security, a system which rewards seniors for doing nothing.

Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don't just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostrate hurts?"

- page 23

Stephen Colbert on Buddhism:

"..And frankly, I'm offended by this idea of the so-called "middle way," the Buddhist doctrine of avoiding extremes. What's the point of religion without extremes? You're either a believer who's guaranteed a seat at God's right hand in the Kingdom of Heaven or an infidel condemned to boil eternally in a lake of searing excrement. We're at Holy War; pick a side, tubby"

My boyfriend is buddhist and he found that passage hilarious xD.

[S-Majere]

"..And frankly, I'm offended by this idea of the so-called "middle way," the Buddhist doctrine of avoiding extremes. What's the point of religion without extremes? You're either a believer who's guaranteed a seat at God's right hand in the Kingdom of Heaven or an infidel condemned to boil eternally in a lake of searing excrement. We're at Holy War; pick a side, tubby"

That's brilliant. I might have to get this.