Relationships and the Military, Stationed Overseas Options

[fameONE]

I'm not the type to put my personal business out there too much. Granted, I am open about topics many of my peers shy away from, I keep what's going on in my personal life to myself. Lately, I've put my relationship into perspective. I can count the members of CB who know about my relationship, and its ups and downs, on one hand. For once, I'm going to actually open up.

I strongly do believe marriage can be successful while being in the military. Despite the often questionably pay, service members are compensated for the cost of living and dependents. With an added income from a spouse, a family can live comfortably in today's military. On the other hand, being somewhat traditional in many ways, a relationship spawned out of nowhere, between a service member at a temporary duty station, and a local, seems doomed for failure from the get go.

Living a lifestyle where I have to take on responsibilities that I wouldn't have even dreamed of 2 years ago, I feel as though my current profession is aging me. I'm to the point where I feel as though a relationship is absolutely pointless unless it shows the potential of marriage. And with that, I'm also not a big supporter of divorce. The drawback of this lifestyle is that its a lonely one. The constant deployments to third world countries, meeting new people on a weekly basis, not really being able to trust anyone on a personal level, and the separation from all that you know can weigh heavy on anyone's shoulders.

Its almost like I've "settled" for a relationship because of physical attraction emotional support. This isn't the first time it has happened. Which is leading me to believe that until I find "the one," if "the one," actually exists, I will constantly go in circles and trap myself in dead end relationships with women that don't live up to the character or integrity I'd expect out of a friend, let alone a wife. Is this a sacrifice I'm required to make as long as I wear this uniform?

[superstitious]

Obviously I can't completely relate, since I'm not in the military but I can understand the conflict between set responsibilities and potential long-term relationships.

I am the opposite of you, however. Marriage means nothing to me, having seen my mom married and divorced several times. Besides that though, sometimes it seems like it's best just to avoid any type of relationship because it's just not worth the effort. Men are bound to disappointment me because I can't see any of them hanging out with my kid and I am very particular about who gets to hang out with him. We live in a strange society (it seems sometimes). There is a tremendous amount of social pressure for someone like me, a single mom, to not wither away (whatever the hell that means)and just accept the best thing that could happen to you. Well screw that. I'm in no rush, regardless of my age and if some miraculous thing happens and Mr. comic book loving online game playing glasses wearing sci fi watching plays games and has food fights with my kids kisses well and loves marathon sex Man comes along, then it'll be an interesting day indeed.

Point is, DON'T make that sacrifice. Don't settle. It's not worth it. You'll only make yourself (and probably another individual) miserable in the end. Right now the world is yours for the taking. The other stuff can happen later.